Shark Crime Squad

You just had a very confusing day. Specifically: You are in prison, and you are seriously questioning your life choices.(click-append:"questioning your life choices.")[ Specifically, you are lying on your back on a cheap off-white foam mattress, staring up at the neon lights above. The cell is clean but bare, containing nothing but a bed and some sanitary facilities. It measures maybe nine square meters in total. All in all, you'd give this prison three stars out of five. So how did you get here? Well, you are a journalist(click-append:"journalist")[ - an experience reporter, really; one might've called it "gonzo journalism" sixty years ago -] and you were writing a report about-slash-in the floating city-state of Avalon. (click-append:"Avalon. ")[ Avalon is, of course, an artificial island in international waters. It gets its name from the initials of its founder and Senior CEO, Alicia Victoria Austen. Your country is technically engaged in a blockade, which makes travel awkward. But the public is hungry for news, so you started a fundraiser and set up a trip (via a neutral third country) to do some research. (click-append:"research. ")[ Avalon is known - in no particular order - for having a vibrant nightlife; a world-class high-tech industry; an utter lack of ethics in research; environmental devastation; and generally being incredibly cyberpunk. Your audience loves that kind of content.(click-append:"content.")[ Avalon also has animal people, but so does every other country. There's, like, otter-people and horse-people and cat-people. Other kinds, too. Frankly, you're not sure why you brought it up at all, since that's just an incredibly normal sight. Anyway: You rented a room at a local hostel and got to business. That was yesterday. (click-append:"yesterday.")[ And today, the police kicked down your door and [[dragged you off]] to prison.]]]]]

You gingerly sit down on the chair. Cheap white plastic and cheaper green foam; this building definitely belongs to Avalon Incorporated. The woman - the coordinator, you presume? - nods curtly. "Can I offer you something to drink? Tea, coffee? Filtered water? I think we have some imported bottled water, if you can't stand the aftertaste." The man leans forward. You notice that he is looking very tired. "Don't accept anything. It's fifteen dollars per cup. Or glass." The woman shrugs. (click-append:"shrugs. ")[You're getting the impression that they've been through this before. The coordinator does not seem to mind the rejection. "Nothing, then. Fair enough." She nods to the wolf-man, who is now leaning against the wall. "Now, you seem to have gotten yourself in a bit of trouble there, haven't you?" She's big on understatement.(click-append:"understatement.")[ The wolf takes this as his cue to launch into a little speech. "Technically, as you know, Avalon is not recognised by the international community. As such, your country has no official representation or embassy. I am here in... something of an advisory role, as part of *my* country's good deeds program." He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes before continuing. You decide to think of him as an ambassador, official or otherwise. "To make a long story short... well, no offense, Ma'am - but the court system here kind of sucks if you lack an express pass. Without bronze-tier citizenship you could be waiting for months to even *get* a trial." The coordinator shuffles through some papers on her desk. (click-append:"desk.")["It says here that you are a registered journalist. That makes it worse if anything. Your government will feel obligated to file a protest of some kind, so... just about every possible outcome of this is going to trigger an international incident. We don't especially care about the opinions of statists, but we do prefer to keep things... cordial." The crocodile-woman then leans forward. She sure has a lot of teeth. "A trial is very low EV for everyone involved. So... we have something of an *understanding* with your country. No need to involve Corporate. We can offer you... an alternative." An alternative?(click-append:"An alternative?")[ "Yes. You'll submit to a default judgement - we have quite a reasonable one - and we'll immediately get you started on working it off through the Supply-Side Labor Assistance Voluntariat Exercise. No need for a trial or press coverage. How's that sound?" "Think of it as... a kind of [[community service]]," the ambassador suggests. The coordinator winces a little. Maybe that's not the exact right word, but you get the idea. (set: $transCounter to 0)\ |sample1)[The Coordinator looks rather bemused, seeing you just kind of... sit there and not say anything. “I mean, if you *really* want to, you can take this [[to court]]. But we strongly recommend you don't.” The Ambassador nods. Really, just do the [[community service]] and everyone's better off. Who knows, you might even learn something.] ] { (live: 1s)[ (set: $transCounter to $transCounter + 1) (if: $transCounter is 180)[ (show: ?sample1) (stop:) ] ] }]]]

The Ambassador just... looks at you for a minute, then sighs. "Fine. Just... fine. I'll check in with the state department and talk to you in the morning." The Coordinator waves you out. You and the Ambassador are each handed a bill for legal consultation and chair rent, then the guards frog-march you back to your cell. You spend a tolerable night in prison. The bill for your room and board arrives together with your breakfast, which arrives slightly after the bill for your breakfast. You don't have any of the cryptos listed, so you check the little box next to "Deferred Payment Plan." The experience repeats about four hours later, when your lunch arrives, and then six hours after that, with dinner. A week passes. Some reading material has started to arrive with your dinner, which is nice, because it helps with the boredom. You pay per-page, which is also nice because most of the books are *really bad.* The stint in prison concludes at the end of the second week, when the Ambassador arrives with a guard in tow. An out-of-court settlement has been reached, apparently. You can leave immediately, on the condition that you don't write about your visit, never come back, and work with a debt collection agency to pay for room and board. You leave Avalon on the next ship. You spend the next year apologising to your readers and working off the debt via sponsored content. **You got the SECRET BORING ENDING. Well done.** [[Play again?|Shark Crime Squad]]

The ambassador looks relieved. The coordinator... well, you'd guess "grim satisfaction," probably? She has too many teeth to really emote. She does nod again, though. "Excellent. I'm always happy to hear about complete cooperation. Get some rest for now, and we'll auction you off first thing tomorrow morning." You are handed a bill for legal consultation and chair rent, then the guards march you back to your cell.(click-append:"back to your cell.")[ You spend a tolerable night in prison. Relatively speaking. It's fairly quiet, at least. You receive a bill for your overnight stay together with your breakfast, which arrives slightly after the bill for your breakfast. Ah yes, the famous hospitality of Avalon. Breakfast consists of a slice of toast, a butter-style flavour globule, and a warm beverage with a weird aftertaste. (You did go for the budget option, so maybe that's your fault.) The guards wait for you to finish your meal and use the bathroom, then they bundle you up for transportation and take you back outside. You climb into a windowless white van. Some people are already inside - fellow prisoners, presumably - but they are all looking at the floor and none of them seem interested in conversation. Together, [[you drive off|outside the prison complex]]. ]

After what feels like half an hour, the van lurches to a stop. There is some murmured discussion, then the back door slides open. Two guards grab you and help you out.(click-append:"out.")[ As far as you can tell, it's still before dawn, and you're standing outside of an indeterminate mall of some kind. You are looking at a fox-man with an AvaSec baseball hat and a clipboard. "Let's see... you've been leased by the Sidling Forth Store," the man says. "You're going to be... folding shirts, I guess? I'd assume there's other duties too, but it just says 'folding shirts' on the lease agreement. Huh. Well, the lessee liasion is going to explain the rest. Oh, don't frown, this is a good appointment. Most people go straight to the acid mines. Not *these* ones, but, you know, in general." He nods towards the van.(click-append:"the van.")[ |ook>["Now, they're only paying us unskilled labour rates, and *we* aren't going to pay for any on-the-job training you might otherwise receive," the AvaSec representative explains. He waves one of the guards over. "So we're going to put a thought disruption collar on you real quick, just so you don't accidentally perform *skilled* labour."] Wait, a what? (click-replace:"Wait, a what?")["Think of it as... a kind of |hook>[community service," the ambassador suggests. The coordinator winces a little. Maybe that's not the exact right word, but you get the idea.(click:"community service")(replace:?hook) [travel report," your editor suggests. Well, editor isn't quite right - there are only three or four people working for your newsblog, so you all wear lots of different hats. She acts as your editor here, but she's really a fellow journalist.(click-append:"journalist.")[ "So maybe we could get you to write some reviews for us," the assistant manager chuckles. "Put those expensive writing skills to work." You blink. You are standing in front of a stack of fully-folded laundry, apparently idling. Are you waiting for the next pile?(click-replace:"the next pile?")[your ride to the old harbour? Oh yeah, that's what you were doing. There isn't a plane that goes to Avalon, and you don't plan on changing planes five times. So you're going to take a little passenger ship there. Your colleague-slash-friend, Steve, offered to take you to the old harbour, but he's running late. You think. You've been using the time you got to unpacking and repack... a lot. Did you forget |ok>[something]? (click:?ok)[(replace:?ook)[ (align: "==>")[Oh. *This* is what a thought disruption collar does. It's impossible to tell how much time has passed or what you're actually doing. Nothing to be done about it. Just trying to think hurts. Deep breaths. Right. Meditation training. You did that, right? Just breathe and... you know, get to [[minimum wagin]]'. You'll... think of something.] ]]]]]]]]]

Hi! Welcome to **Shark Crime Squad**, a game in which you do crimes and become sharks. Possibly the reverse as well. You are playing **v0.9.** This is the final beta release. It probably still has a few bugs, but it should be content-complete. If you notice any error messages or typos, please let me know. This game is text-based. It is not, strictly speaking, a fetish game - it has way too much exposition for that. That said, it's still fairly lewd at times. This means **18+ only**, thanks, and you also need to be a legal adult where you live. If you know Oglaf: It's kind of like that, except not as good. Don't play this if you're at work and/or below the appropriate age. Close the window **now.** Otherwise, read on. A few content notes that may apply to this game, depending on the route(s) that you take: * Transformation * Identity play, mind control * Politics * BDSM stuff, particularly bondage * I guess there's that one dubious-consent bondage thing Also: Crimes. Smashing the state. And urban life. There is no sex in this game, but plenty of content is suggestive. The game will usually hint on the content of scenes ahead of time, but *there won't be explicit content warnings* from here on out. You can use the back button to bail out of scenes if you don't like where they're going. It's mostly there as a safeword. You don't need to use the back button out of curiousity where other choices would have led. This game is meant to be played through a few times anyway. If you still want to do this, we can **[[Start]].** Just click the link to continue. There's also a more in-depth explanation of the [[mechanics]] in case you're not familiar with this kind of game. In case you've seen the intro before, we can skip straight to [[the good part]]. Finally, if you need to get in touch for whatever reason, you can find me as KHRDN on FurAffinity. (set:$exemption_badge to 0)

"Alright, cool!" The Captain claps her hands. "The *good part* is... well, in short: That shiny new wrist computer is going to start popping up some potential crime hotspots. Your job is to turn *potential* crime into *actual* crime. Just go out there, start wandering, and see what you can mess up. We'll check in with you... oh, about this time tomorrow, I think. Don't worry about the address, we'll find you. You can use that tunnel to get to Central Square, and the crime-puter will take it from there. Now, I have to run, but if you want some pointers, feel free to check in with the fish squad." She gestures at the other sharks. "Other than that... well - |glhf>[good luck, have fun."](click-append:?glhf)[ Loks like you're finally in charge of your destiny again! Here are some options to get you started: * Beanie offers to explain the [[Crimeputer]] in a little more detail. * You could get some [[fashion tips]] from Bubbles. Or lack of fashion, maybe? Lack of clothes, anyway. * Rivets is standing near a window, shooting [[finger guns]] at billboards. What's up with that? Or you could just skip all of this and go directly to [[Central Square]]. (if:$exemption_badge > 0)[As you turn to leave, you feel something in your pocket. You pat yourself down, and find a small, scratched white smartcard. That's... puzzling.]] (set:$hour to 0)(set:$collar to 0) (set:$mayhem to 5) (set:$horny to 5) (set:$nerd to 5) (set:$chest to "") (set:$muscle to 0) (set:$chub to 0) (set:$beep_shirt to 0) (set:$went_goth to 0) (set:$went_gym to 0) (set:$visited_library to 0) (set:$gloves_and_visor to 0) (set:$muzzle to 0) (set:$goth_makeover to 0) (set:$piercings to 0) (set:$lisa_needs_braces to 0) (set:$sunglasses_at_night to 0) (set:$corset to 0) (set:$go_green to 0) (set:$blue_eyes to 0) (set:$jacket to 0) (set:$anonysuit to 0) (set:$gasmask to 0) (set:$redhead to 0) (set:$green_thumb to 0) (set:$good_night to 0) (set:$has_hat to 0) (set:$is_rubber to 0) (set:$visited_factory to 0) (set:$has_beanie to 0) (set:$hello_nurse to 0) (set:$male_drink to 0) (set:$female_drink to 0) (set:$oink to 0) (set:$visited_holodix to 0)

SCS is based on two factors: Time and stats. You get two actions on the first day, then there's a night segment, then you get one more action on the following day. Your mission will be explained at a later date. Just about everything you do affects your stats, which (in turn) determine which actions are available to you. The following three stats are particularly important: * There's **Mayhem**, which you gain by disregarding The Rules. This is the one that's all about destroying the system. * There's **Podcast**, which is all about nerd stuff. It acts as a universal knowledge skill too. * And there's **Horny on Main**, which is a lot like Charisma. The mechanics are pretty light. This is mostly about experiencing some kink-adjacent writing in a somewhat nonlinear fashion. Messing around, seeing where/how you end up being. Don't sweat it too much. You can visit every location over the course of two playthroughs. That obviously won't be enough to explore every branch, but... really, you don't need to abuse the Back button. [[Okay.|Shark Crime Squad]] Oh, and there are three endings. Technically. But one of them is just an easter egg, and the other is pretty hidden. If you can't find them... well, don't sweat it too much.

"Central Square" is a little bit of a misnomer. The plaza is not on the central point of Avalon's surface; that's where the headquarters of Avalon Holdings Incorporated are. But Central Square *is* the place where all the tram lines converge. The city begins and ends here, in every sense but the geographical. The square is dominated by a huge statue of Alicia Victoria Austen, her gaze sternly fixed on the horizon. You think it's stern, anyway. It's a bit too far up. This is a nice place to rest; you could sit down by the fountain, take a breath, and [[check yourself]] if you want. (if:$hour is 0)[Your skin is tingling, particularly the part under your wrist-mounted computer. Your mouth is feeling a little sore, like there's something sharp in there, and your balance is a little off. That's probably nothing to worry about. You had a rough night. It's still pretty early in the day. You have plenty of time to do whatever you want to do. ](if:$hour is 1)[Your fingers are feeling kind of weird. Looking down, they seem to be... oh, tipped with claws. That explains that. You can feel something pushing out from your back, and your face feels a lot pointier than before. Your ears, too, are slimming down and lengthening. So maybe that thing about the transformation nanites was actually true. It's a bright, crisp afternoon. The streets are full of people going about their business. ](if:$hour is 2)[Your transformation is almost complete. Your face is quite angular, and you have a small muzzle. Your teeth are very sharp. Your arms and legs are no longer skin-coloured, and your fingers have impressive claws on them. You also have a small tail, and you can feel that a dorsal fin is growing on your back. Your sense of balance has already adjusted, thankfully. ](if:$hour >= 3)[At this point, you're all shark. You have a pointed muzzle, your teeth are absurdly sharp, and you have a massive tail that keeps knocking into things. People move out of your way when you approach. It feels pretty great. You still have ears, but they're long, pointy, perky and sit close to your skull. Hydrodynamic. (if:$hour < 4)[You got up pretty early today, so you probably have time for one final crime before the rest of the gang shows up.] ](if:$hour is 0 or 1 or 3)[Anyway: Central Square. (if:$visited_holodix < 1 or $visited_factory < 1)[You can easily get [[Downtown]] from here, if you want to.] (if:$go_green is 0 or $visited_library is 0)[ [[Midtown]] is easily accessible from here.] By definition, there are no tram lines that go [[Uptown]], but you can get *close.*](if:$hour is 2)[[[Night is falling.|Central Square (Night)]]](if:$hour is 4)[Your wrist computer bleeps at you, informing you that it's time for [[your performance review]].] (if:$lisa_needs_braces is 0)[(if:$horny <= 4 and $nerd >= 7)[(set:$lisa_needs_braces to 1)]] (if:$sunglasses_at_night is 0)[(if:$nerd >= 7 and $horny >= 7)[(set:$sunglasses_at_night to 1)]] (if:$blue_eyes is 0)[(if:$nerd <= 4 and $horny >= 7)[(set:$blue_eyes to 1)]]

Central Square looks different at night, although the area is still day-bright. If you were hoping to do some stargazing, you need to go elsewhere. The plaza is covered in streetlights, neon signs and massive information displays. Speaking of the information displays... those are a little worrying. (click-append:"worrying.")[Normally they display things like tram schedules and ads, but now, there's a countdown instead - and it's down to 00:30:00. Every so often, they flash to a reminder that there is a CURFEW IN PLACE, and that you need to purchase SILVER-TIER CITIZENSHIP (OR HIGHER) to gain a CURFEW EXEMPTION. Right, you remember hearing about that. Avalon is proud of its exclusive nightclubs, but... in order to have something *exclusive,* you need to *exclude* people. You don't have a SILVER-TIER CITIZENSHIP, and you also don't have the time to start cracking lootboxes. Time to think of a plan.(click-append:"think of a plan.")[ If they catch you out on the streets after nightfall... well, let's not think about that. The tram lines are starting to thin out, which makes sense if there's a curfew. You can still get [[Downtown|Downtown (Night)]] for the time being - you didn't remember to write down where the workshop is, but you should be able to find it again, right? That said, it's probably smarter to look for a sleeping place in [[Midtown|Midtown (Night)]]. (Uptown is off-limits.)]]

Avalon has a unique geography. "Downtown" describes the outermost ring of platforms, those furthest from the well-developed, well-supplied and well-*anchored* core. Geographically, Downtown is defined by the equal but opposite forces of growth and gentrification. Uptown is always eating Midtown, which in turn feeds on Downtown, which grows into the ocean. Downtown's surface area is constant but its radius is always growing outwards. the AVALogistics tram currently needs about forty minutes to get to the end of the line. The crowds thins as you travel, and the architecture becomes draftier and rustier. You shuffle out of the tram car and into a bus that takes you into Downtown proper. Supposedly, Downtown has all the good "alternative" nightclubs, but none of them are open for now. (if:$visited_holodix < 1)[Well, unless you count [[the Jacked In Holoporn Facilities|Dave's Holodix]], but that doesn't sound too promising. Except maybe if you're good with computers?](if:$visited_holodix > 0)[Well, unless you count the Jacked In, but you probably shouldn't go back in there.] (if:$visited_factory < 1)[You could also visit the [[AutoFactory]] if you're in the mood to mess with *capitalism* some.](if:$visited_factory > 0)[There's also the AutoFactory, buuuut you have a feeling that you might not be welcome there right now. Honestly, you feel like you were sort of lucky the first time around.]

You step into one of the trams. None of them explicitly go to Uptown, but if you know the name of the station, you can get right up to the gate. Visitors - particularly American visitors - are often confused by Avalon's mass transit system. The tram network is dense and far-reaching, and it is not only possible but *easy* to get around without a car. Where are all the cars? Well, they are in Uptown. "The expenditure of energy by man or machine," Alicia VA is fond of saying, "is the sole source of value. When a man thinks, there is a spot of fire alive in his mind. It is proper that he should have the burning point - the controlled detonations of an internal combustion engine - as his one expression." (if:$oink < 1)[As a consequence, Uptown is rather... low-density. At least to the extent that *any* place in Avalon can be low-density. There honestly isn't much to do, but if you really want to go in there, you'll have to find a way to get past [[the gate]]. ] (if:$went_gym < 1 or $went_goth <1)[There's always the Nine Little Streets neighborhood. It's not Uptown per se, but it's *the* place to be if you want to [[go shopping]] for a while. You could strike a blow against the international mega-corporations by supporting small business owners. ](if:$went_gym > 0 and $went_goth > 0)[You feel like you've kind of exhausted the Nine Little Streets neighborhood for now. Well, obviously not *exhausted* - you could spend a month in there and still find new places to visit - but you shouldn't spend your entire research time in an outdoor shopping mall. ]If you don't feel like hanging out with the nobs, you can still bail out and head back to [[Central Square]].

By definition, any part of the island reachable by tram is part of Midtown. Downtown isn't sufficiently developed yet, so it wouldn't be profitable for AVALogistics to run any trains there, and Uptown is far too classy for mass transit. Obviously. Mass transit is for the masses, after all. Midtown is thus quite large, but most of it is taken up by things like private residences and grocery stores. Those aren't particularly interesting to you. (if:$go_green is 0)[But those stores are connected to the island's [[maintenance tunnels]]. Might be something cool in there.](if:$go_green > 0)[You've kinda tapped out their entertainment potential with the little joyride.] (if:$visited_library is 0)[Alternatively, if you're looking for something more edifying, you could hit up [[the library]]. These things are "moral hazards," apparently, so there's just the one for all of Midtown. ](if:$visited_library > 0)[The library is also here, but you feel like you've already finished your mandatory reading assignments for the day. ]

You catch the last train to Downtown. Not many people are taking this route - just you and four or five wolf-people in matching leather jackets. You feel it's probably better not to ask. They stay on the tram after you exit, anyway. Downtown is never exactly *nice,* but it gets so much worse at night. Calling it a "no-go zone" would imply the existence of zones, which would in turn imply the existence of zoning laws, so the term isn't used - but that's pretty much what it is. Still, it has its upsides. For example, the curfew is supposed to be enforced in Downtown as well, but nobody here can actually afford the Avalon Policy Enforcement membership dues. It's all Discount Security all the way. You'd have to be extremely unlucky to actually [[run into a patrol]]. You could also just... [[loiter]] around here. The tram station is drafty and it smells weird, but at least it's pretty well-lit. Plus, you might see something cool. Weird events always gather around the tram stations at night.

On the inside, the holoporn theater looks... well, pretty much exactly like you'd expect. There's a clerk who seems hell-bent on ignoring you, so you are probably expected to use one of the "'Self-Service' Terminals ;)". The floor is covered with a cheap brown carpet, all the furniture is cheap brown plastic, and there is a huge statue of Jack himself. (click-append:"Dave himself. ")[Jack is a bear of a man. (A grizzly, to be precise.) The statue shows him grinning, winking, and giving the viewer a thumbs-up. The base of the statue reads **"What kind of idiot would make a hologram you can't fuck?"**] All the booths are in use right now. You'd rather not think about those uses too much, so you hang around the lobby, keeping an eye out for potential crime opportunities. For starters, you could sneak into the control room to see if you can [[mess with some of the scenarios]], Tron-style. You don't want to kinkshame, but these scenarios really could be spiced up a little. Plus: Touchable holograms are the opiate of the masses, so messing with them is totally valid praxis. (if:$corset<1)[There's also the [[snack bar]]. Did I mention that there's a snack bar? Well, there's a snack bar, and you could raid it. There's a *lot* of candy there, but you could see how much you can eat before they throw you out. Deprive the *petite bourgeoisie* of their Choc-y-Lots and their sugar-frosted gumdrops.] (set:$visited_holodix to 99)

You loiter near the snack bar for a while. The staff barely pays attention to you, which helps. After a few minutes, another customer shuffles into the store, momentarily distracting the clerk. You deftly slip through the EMPLOYEES ONLY door and prop up a chair against the handle to give yourself some privacy. (click-append: "privacy.")[ You're disappointed to find there isn't actually such a thing as a "control room," but there *is* a library where they keep all the holodisks. (click-append:"holodisks. ")[You briefly wonder if any of them might be about sharks, but decide that would be silly and overly self-indulgend. You grab an armful from the shelf and pop them into the office computer.] The data format doesn't make a whole lot of sense to you, but thankfully, there's a graphical editor. You grab a data visor and some elbow-length data gloves from the supply closet, then jack in to the matrix. (click-append: " jack in to the matrix.")[ You aren't sure how much time you have, so you decide to hustle.(if:$nerd < 5)[ You're pretty bad with computers and decide to keep it simple.] (if:$nerd is 5)[You know a few things about computers, so this should go alright.] (if:$nerd > 5)[You crack your knuckles and get to work.] So, you copy the main character of *A Buff Raptor Jock Steps On Your Face* over to *Candid Upskirt Shots,* figuring you'll broaden some horizons.(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+1) Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem.(if:$nerd > 5)[ Also, the girls in *Waifu Book Club* now show genuine interest in debating the decline of the Buddenbrooks. Who wants to make out when you can talk about the conflict between art and business instead?(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+1) Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem.(if:$nerd > 6)[ Then, *Single Female Lawyer* becomes much more educational. You can really learn something about professional ethics from your version. For examplem, even if you were somehow charged with "being too sexy," discovery would happen during the trial. Not in the alley behind your lawyer's office.(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5) Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem.]](if:$nerd > 7)[ Finally, you find a pretty cool indie game called *Lesbian Space Bird Invasion*. You leave that one as it was, because you really like the writing, but you do move the viewpoint to one of the background LSBs. Being a minor NPC is probably still someone's fetish, right?(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5) Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem.] That was fun! And... maybe a little low-key horny. Not that you'd admit it.(click-append:"admit it.")[(set:$horny to $horny+0.5) Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny.] Anyway, you totally did something cool there. Time to [[take off the gear and escape]] before anyone spots you.]]

You don't even pretend you're a customer - no, you head straight for the snack bar. Oh yeah, you're a smooooth criminal. You pick up one of the gumdrops. (if:$hour is 0)[You find you have some trouble chewing it. How strange.](if:$hour is 1)[You carefully hold it between two fingers and tear pieces off it with your sharp pointy teeth. That works much better than chewing.](if:$hour > 1)[You toss it up in the air and bite it in half with your great white chompers. Poor gumdrop never stood a chance.] The attendant briefly looks up, but doesn't seem to care. No alarms sound. So that means one thing and one thing only: [[FEEDING FRENZY!]]

"Hi! Hope you don't mind me taking this off you. Nobody ever changes the default password on these things. Weird, huh?" You blink a few times as your perception of linear time returns, an indeterminate amount of time later.(click-append:"later.")[ (A few hours? You're kind of thirsty, but not hungry, and it's light outside.)] You're standing behind the counter, holding a half-folded shirt and looking at a sharkgirl with neon-red hair and a camouflage jacket. She is grinning, and twirling a metal band around her finger.(click-append:"around her finger.")[ "Hi! A little fish told me that you might be in trouble. Plus, I've always wanted one of these for the bedroom, so... score." The collar vanishes in one of her pockets. The jacket, you notice, has a name tag that just says CAPT on it. Captain, presumably? It does have a slightly military look about it. "One word about that being the wrong kind of camo, and the collar is going right back on, by the way. Now, you want to get out of here |orwhat>[or what?"](click-append:?orwhat)[ The two of you quickly exit the store. Nobody attempts to detain you, which is almost a disappointment - you have a lot of adrenaline in your system. That little episode with the collar must've been more stressful than you expected. You sort of recognise the neighborhood. You haven't been here before, but it looks like Downtown to you - no other part of Avalon has quite that much grime and soot and rusted metal.(click-append:"rusted metal.")[ "Yeah, pretty much," the Captain confirms. "That was more of a warehouse than a store. Hence, Downtown. They'll be out looking for you, so I'm taking you back to the workshop real quick. I hear you're a journalist, and Avalon *really* needs some muckraking. C'mon, over here." You continue to follow her. Not actually the weirdest way to discover a story.(click-append:"discover a story.")[ (You've seen some real shit.) After a few more minutes of walking down random alleyes, you reach a dead end. There's an abandoned building here, with a sturdy metal gate blocking off the only door. Then again, most of Downtown looks like that. "Now, you do owe us a bit, but... we really need some independent reporting, so you can pay us back by, well, doing that. We're gonna set you up with some gear and basically set you lose for a day. And then- ugh, don't tell me this is stuck again." She kicks the gate a few times until the latch comes loose, then wrests it open. |therewego>["There we go." ](click-append:?therewego)[ "Now, before you start - ugh, this gate never works right - before you start to complain about journalistic ethics: Yes, I know, not exactly up to professional standards, *but* we also brought you out of jail and it's totally up to you if/how you publish anything. If nothing else it'd be cool if you can publish a weird experience report and maybe, you know, raise awareness." The Captain brushes some moss(?) from the corrugated metal, revealing a palmprint reader underneat. "ANYway, we'll get you kitted out, then set you loose. You can decide if you want to join up permanently after that, or something. Poke at stuff in the city and see if anything cool or weird happens." This sounds like one of those [[gang initiation rituals]] you've read about.]]]]]

"Frankly, I don't get the hype〔about 9LS〕," AV Austen has said. "It is not 'the best Avalon has to offer.' The best that Avalon has to offer is what you can buy online, if you have Avalon Prime. The second best that Avalon has to offer is what you can buy in the international chains; the best store is the most successful one." Given that resounding endorsement, you pretty much have to visit the neighborhood. The *Nine Little Streets* may not take up much space, but they are very dense. Small streets and tiny shops, all crammed together and stacked on top of one another, for miles and miles. There is no room for cars or trams in this labyrinth of commerce, so you can only walk the area on foot. Thanks to the somewhat casual nature of government in Avalon, new shops often open without actually telling anyone. There simply isn't a complete directory or map of the 9LS. You could probably spend the whole day just wandering, but you have a job to do. You did plan on visiting the Nine Little Streets anyway - you know, back before the police became a part of your life - so you've come prepared. After some twenty minutes, you have identified two options: * (if:$went_gym < 1)[You could go to the *[[BubbleGym]]*, which promises instant results and a minty-fresh breath. Gotta get in shape for *the revolution.*](if:$went_gym > 0)[The *BubbleGym* is still there, but your muscles still ache a little. You feel like you shouldn't over-do it with the exercise.] * (if:$went_goth < 1)[Alternatively, there is *[[Boop! Cursed]]*, located in the cellar of a restaurant. Apparently, it sells "goth scene dress and priceless artifacts." (There is a little handwritten note that adds that they may have "other witch stuff" too, depending on the supplier.)](if:$went_goth > 0)[Alternatively, there is always *Boop! Cursed*, but it appears to be closed for inventory. Aw.]

(set:$visited_library to 1)You can't think of many good crime plans that start with a trip to the library, but you're confident you'll figure something out. (set:$nerd to $nerd+1)Just visiting this place has increased your **Podcast** to $nerd. "Public libraries," AV Austen said at the opening ceremony, "are a scourge because they masquerade as a benevolent government program. There is no such thing, of course. The means of any public library is tax dollars -- which means extortion." That said, the Public Book Deposit gets away with this because it isn't technically supported by any government(s). There's kind of a shadowy corporate council behind it, and it also gets free samples from local publishing houses. Moral hazards aside: The PBD isn't too spacious, but it makes good use of what space it does have. It spans three floors, and every available space contains books and aging computer terminals. Patrons are quietly browsing through the reading material. Your wrist computer chirps at you, suggesting a few activities: * You could [[pirate some music]]. * You could [[learn about famous crimes]] for inspiration. * Or you could [[photocopy your butt a bunch of times]].

(set:$beep_shirt to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$has_music to 1)Non-commercial music isn't exactly welcome in Avalon. "There is no such thing as artistic merit," AV Austen has said. "Monetary success is popularity is merit. Everything that is free is worthless precisely because it is free, and vice versa." So, passing around free music is actually fairly plausible as a revolutionary act. You download a whole bunch of CC0-licensed music and burn it onto CD-ROMs. (click-append:"CD-ROMs. ")[(Turns out the library just had a stack of those. They let you have the CDs under the condition that you take all of them.)] You then take the CD-ROMs and start passing them out. (click-append:"passing them out.")[ After a while, the black-clad Copyright Collecting Agency stormtroopers show up, and you make a beeline for [[Central Square]] before they can catch you. You still have some CDs left, too. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem!]

(set:$hour to $hour+1)This is probably a great start if you want to get into this whole "crime" thing for real. You loiter around the computer terminals and thumb through a True Crime magazine while you wait for a slot to free up. Multitasking! It takes a few minutes, but eventually, one of the terminals becomes available.(click-append:"becomes available.")[ The library imposes no restrictions of its own, but Internet access in Avalon is weird if you're on the free-to-use tier. Ads on Wikipedia just feel wrong. (They're inserted by AvaNet's middleboxes.) You also learn that the group term is technically "a crime squad of punk sharks" - that seems a little unlikely, but it wouldn't be in this magazine if it wasn't true. Anyway, crime! Ads or no, you can still do some research.(click-append:"research.")[ You print out the Simple English articles on crime and on cybercrime. You also download a *lot* of podcasts for later reference. After that, you look up a lot of pictures of famous criminals and pick out the ones you like. That's mostly sharkgirls in leather jackets. For, uh, research. Yeah. Gotta figure out how crime works. Especially the kind that makes you squirm a little. You feel pretty well-prepared! Time to head back to [[Central Square]] and put your new knowledge into practice. (set:$nerd to $nerd+1)Your **Podcast** has increased to $nerd. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem. (set:$jacket to 1) ] ]

Ah yes, the classic office prank. You're not quite sure what you're going to do with those, but one can always find a use for a stack of amateur porn. (set:$horny to $horny+0.5) Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny. You pick up a rag and some glass-cleaner and get in line at the self-service station. The person right in front of you appears to be meticulously copying a book of coupons, so you have time to think about important strategic questions. Like this one: Are you going to do [[just the butt]]? Or [[your boobs, too]]?

(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$butt to 1)Right. Gotta keep it simple. You're here to *do crimes* and *destroy capitalism.* Stripping in public is a bonus, not the goal. Gotta stay on target. You wait until it's your turn, then hop up on the copier.(click-append:"on the copier. ")[ The other people waiting in line are trying very hard not to notice what you're doing. (if:$mayhem>6)[You look them directly in the eyes. Big power move.](else-if:$horny>6)[You give them a salacious wink.] You make a dozen copies or so, taking care to cover various different angles. You wipe the machine down as a courtesy for the librarians, then saunter back into [[Central Square]] with your loot. Nicely done. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! ]

(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$butt to 1)(set:$boobs to $boobs+1)Go big or go home, right? You're here to *do crimes* and *destroy capitalism.* That's not going to work if you stick with social reformer garbage like "not stripping in public." You wait until it's your turn, then wiggle out of your clothes (if present) and hop up on the copier.(click-append:"on the copier.")[ The other people waiting in line are trying very hard not to notice what you're doing. (if:$mayhem>6)[You stare them down. Big power move.](else-if:$horny>6)[You give them a salacious wink.] You make a dozen copies or so, taking care to cover various different angles. You can't get your boobs *and* your butt on the same printout, no matter how much you twist your spine, which kinda sucks. Though, wait - if you scan the butt, then quickly jump off and press your boobs against the glass, maybe that works? Hmmmm. It takes you a few minutes, but eventually, you are happy with the results. You put your clothes back on, give the copier a quick wipe, then saunter back into [[Central Square]] with your loot. Nicely done. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! (set:$horny to $horny+0.5)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! (Actually, did you even have tits before? Well, you certainly do now.) ]

You decide to slum it with the nerd for a while. If anyone can explain this ridiculous premise to you, it's probably Beanie. The other sharks wave goodbye, and you sit down in the coffee kitchen with Beanie.(set:$nerd to $nerd+1)(set:$horny to $horny-1) "Technically, this is an old smartphone running in kiosk mode, plus a custom launcher. Bunch of sensors in there." They prod at your wrist-mounted computer. It beeps. "It's always sucking up data from the smartgrid - social media posts, news publications, the shipping forecast and so on. We grind the data up, mix in some math, then spread it over a map of the city. It's a lot like predictive policing, only... inverted. If predictive policing actually worked. Which it doesn't. But this works. We filter the output so it leaves the regular people alone, so it won't like... tell you to mug old ladies." You nod. You're worried that people will be able to smell the *nerd* on you, but this actually sounds pretty cool. • Your **Podcast** has increased to $nerd! • Your **Horny on Main** has decreased to $horny! You finish your coffee and make your way to [[Central Square]].

You wave the other sharks off, but stop Bubbles, asking her if she has any advice for you.(set:$nerd to $nerd-1)(set:$horny to $horny+1) "So uhm liiiiike..." Bubbles twirls her fingers through her hair. "Uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." You give her a minute. Eventually, you are rewarded with a chuckle, and a sly little smile. (click-append:"little smile. ")[(You know, relatively speaking. Shark faces don't lend themselves to *small* smiles.)] "Oh! Yeah, like, totally! See, you'd *obviously* be tempted to just go nude, but you wanna liiiike... provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking, like, your butt an' stuff. So you gotta wear soooome clothes, but they have to be skimpy!" Bubbles shows you a neat trick that makes your pants fit tighter. Or maybe your butt is larger? It's difficult to tell. The nanites might be doing something like that, but you have no idea how they work. • Your **Podcast** has decreased to $nerd! • Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! You can't help but giggle a little. It's pretty silly, but it seems effective. Together, you figure out where [[Central Square]] is, and you go ahead to start your mission.

The other sharks wander off, presumably on gang business. You climb up on the roof to join Rivets, watching him shoot his fingers at a series of billboards. "I have an ad blocker on this," Rivets explains. He taps his glasses. "It works pretty well, but it does rely on community tagging." He then points his index finger at the Laramie Cigarettes blimp. "Pew!" He pauses for a second. "This shows an explosion on my AR visor. You know, as a reward for tagging the ads? I know you can't see it but I promise it was really cool." You can appreciate a good explosion. Or the idea of a good explosion, anyway. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+1)(set:$horny to $horny-0.5)(set:$nerd to $nerd-0.5) • Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! • Your **Podcast** has decreased to $nerd! • Your **Horny on Main** has decreased to $horny! Eventually, Rivets finishes off the ads and leaves you to your own devices. You confidently stride out into [[Central Square]].

10 PM is approaching, but there's still some life in Midtown. People are chatting, socialising and sipping beverages. However, you can't help but notice that most of them are walking towards the tram stations. The crowds are thinning quickly. You consider your options. The enforcers here are relatively civilised, but they'll still throw you back in jail if they catch you out here, so you need to come up with a plan. * You could just [[find a secluded area]] and sleep under some cardboard boxes, or something. Just start walking and see where it takes you. * A few Uptowners seem to be slumming it in the local cafés, judging by the CURFEW EXEMPTION badges. You could try to [[chat them up]]. * There's a small group of businessmice sitting outside a bar. You assume that they are in town for a convention of some kind; they all have suitcases and one of them keeps checking her watch. (if:$mayhem >= 7.5)[You could [[pretend you're with them]], if you feel sufficiently daring.](if:$mayhem <= 7)[You're not sure what you're supposed to do with that information. Probably nothing? Probably nothing.] * Finally... this seems audacious, but you could [[go back to your hotel]]. That's probably the last place where anyone will look for you.

Not the greatest plan you've ever had, admittedly, but... you know cities. These are all about the same. There'll always be empty buildings and abandoned construction sites and weird sleazy back-alleys that always smell like boiled cabbage. For example! There's a nice comfortable [[box of scrap metal]] for you to hide under. That would totally work. Alternatively, you could...(click-append:"Alternatively, you could...")[ ... No, that's pretty much it. Slim pickings, sorry.]

You decide to make use of your natural charms. If you chat up one of the Uptowners, they might give you a one-time curfew exemption. Maybe you'll even learn something about Uptown. How *does* the other half live, anyway? You can't get into Uptown proper, of course, but you can totally loiter in the posh parts of Midtown.(click-append:"the posh parts of Midtown.")[ Most of the Uptowners are just passing through, but a few are lingering in the area. Most of those are sending pretty clear go-away signals - you know, headphones and books - but you notice a few exceptions. * First of all, there is an [[otter]], who appears to be some species of *bro.* No shirt, spiky blonde hair, surfing trunks, some weird trident pendant on a necklace. It should be very easy to grab his attention. * Alternatively, a [[unicorn lady]] with curly hair is sitting in one of the streetside cafés. She is surrounded by emtpy cups and sketches of the local architecture, so you assume she's been there for a while. Right now, she's just looking over the plaza with a piece of charcoal in her hand. ]

This is a pretty audacious plan, but it's just ridiculous enough to work. Your old hotel room is probably the last place where they'd think to look for you. (Assuming that they are, indeed, looking for you.) Plus, it's not like the hotel can re-use the room right away. Your stuff is probably still in there. As long as you leave before the cleaning staff shows up in the morning, you'll be fine, probably.(click-append:"probably.")[ You find the hotel easily enough. It's near one of the tram lines, and thus rather cheap, and it has a shattered window on the third floor. Some caution tape is fluttering in the wind. Yep, that's your place. The front desk isn't going to work, but if you're feeling brave, you could try to [[climb up the fire escape]]. Alternatively... well, the tram service has ceased, and you're not supposed to be out on the streets anymore. You'd have to try to [[find a secluded area]] somewhere around here.]

"Fire codes," AV Austen has said, "restrict the ability of property owners to use their property as they see fit. Fears of inappropriate building development are grossly exaggerated. There is a straightforward free market solution to fire risks, and it is called *insurance.*" As such, 'fire escapes' aren't exactly standardised in Avalon. A lot of places do have them, for PR reasons if nothing else, but the quality varies wildly. Your hotel, for example, has a bunch of narrow walkways and a steel ladder leading to a back alley. The ladder is too far above the ground to reach, but there are some dumpsters nearby.(click-append:"dumpsters nearby.")[ You push one of the dumpsters over to the ladder, climb on the dumpster, then jump on up and grab the ladder. Easy. You know how physics puzzles work. You shimmy over to the room with the smashed window and [[sort of wiggle your way into the room.|carefully climb in.]]]

The Captain has already been waiting for you, together with the rest of the gang. You almost didn't spot her, what with that camouflage and all. Beanie is playing on their phone, but they occasionally look up - that's probably as social as they get. Rivets is doing finger-guns again, and Bubbles is winking at random strangers. So, the usual. Probably. "Alright!" The Captain claps her hands. "I can see that your tail has grown in *nicely.* Let's see how the crimes went, huh?" She grabs your wrist-computer and starts to press a few buttons. (if:$mayhem > 8.5)["Hey, this is pretty cool." The Captain scrolls through the log, nodding in appreciation. "Hey, you got the - niiice. This is some good content." She hands the device back to you, grinning. You catch yourself returning the grin in exactly the same way. "I've always wanted a deputy. You'll do just fine, once we find you a camouflage jacket. Then we need to get someone to tell me to 'go fuck myself,' so we can do some prop comedy. C'mon, I need you to give me a hand. And you can help me organise something to." ](else-if:$podcast > 7)[The Captain starts to scroll through the log, then stops, squints, and shakes her head. "Haha, oh god. Looks like we've got another one of... those." She hands the device back to you, and waves Beanie over. "Okay, you'll have to ask for a spare beanie or something, and then you two nerds can chat about... I don't know, porting Doom to the TI-84? Whatever it is you guys do. Once you're done with that, I have a task for you." ](else-if:$horny > 7)[The Captain starts to scroll through the log, then stops and just kind of... stares. "Did... did you think we were making amateur porn? This looks like amateur porn to me." She tilts her head to the side. "Mmhm... not that I'm complaining. You'll have to show me that trick later." She hands the device back to you, and tugs Bubbles over. "Okay, you two run along and play now. Swap makeup tips or something, we need you to be presentable." ](else-if:1>0)["Hmm... not to shabby." The Captain swipes through a few log entries, occasionally nodding her approval. "Mmhm. Oh, hey. Yeah, I think this earns you a Meets Expectations, at the very least." She hands you the wrist computer back, patting you on the shoulder. "I'll be honest: I've been trying real hard to come up with a pun along the lines of 'a fishy story' - 'cause you're a writer and all - but yeah, I got nothing. Welcome to the crew.] Sounds like you're in! This should be exciting. The Captain gives you a welcome noogie, and you have officially joined a *dangerous street gang.* Not what you planned to do with your vacation, but it'll do. **Your final score:** Your **Mayhem** is $mayhem. (if:$mayhem<=4.5)[You're honestly not much of a crime-doer. Maybe the gang has a spot for you to be their mascot, but that's all you can expect.](else-if:$mayhem<8.5)[You can hold your own when it comes to crime, but you're no ringleader. That's probably for the best.](if:$mayhem>=8.5)[You're a one-person state-smashing machine. You're all shark - you have to keep moving, and you have to keep upending the social order. It's what you do. You rock.] Your **Horny on Main** is $horny. (if:$horny<=3.5)[That's barely horny at all, so your gang name will have to be "SFW Shark." Actually, can you pick your own gang name? You should ask the Captain when you get the chance.](else-if:$horny<7)[You're not exactly lewd. You are at least theoretically capable of wearing sensible clothing, and you can eat bananas without making people blush. That's probably a good thing.](if:$horny>=7)[You are, somehow, inherently NSFW. You can go from zero to flirting on a moment's notice, and you know a naughty party trick for every kind of fruit, from the banana to the pineapple. Security cameras are flustered because they can't figure out whether they need to blur you or not.] Your **Podcast** is $nerd. (if:$nerd<=3.5)[You're not much of a thinker. That's cool, though. You have your own strengths. Other people can handle the nerd stuff, like "planning" or "telling you what to do."](else-if:$nerd<7)[You're doing pretty alright with the, you know, thinky stuff. The uhm. The braining. ... okay, you're not showing it right now, but trust me.](if:$nerd>=7)[You're pretty dang smart. You have an opinion on which text editor is the best one, and you're willing to talk about it *in public.*] Your time in Avalon changed you a little. Specifically: You're a shark now. You have a pointed muzzle, your teeth are absurdly sharp, and you have a massive tail that keeps knocking into things. (if:$mayhem > 9)[You look a lot like the Captain, actually. You have that iconic pointed snout, the large fins, the strong crescent-shaped tail. Your chest and belly are white, (if:$green_thumb < 1)[and you have a contrasting pattern of dark blue, gray, or brown on your back and sides. (It depends on the lighting conditions.)](if:$green_thumb > 0)[while the rest of your body is bright green.] You seem to have acquired her haircut at some point, and your hair seems to be red too.(if:$go_green > 0 or $blue_eyes > 0)[ (Highlights nonwithstanding.] ](if:$mayhem > 7.5 and $mayhem <= 9)[With your heavy build and thick skin, you both look and feel ready to rumble. You are mostly (if:$green_thumb < 1)[grey](if:$green_thumb > 0)[green] in colour, with a white chest and belly, but you have brightly-coloured stripes running down your back and your sides. You're looking a lot more menacing than the other sharks, save perhaps the Captain. ](if:$mayhem >= 5 and $mayhem <= 7.5)[You are somewhat unassuming. It's difficult to tell what kind of shark you are supposed to be, exactly, but you have the basic design features down pat. You are (if:$green_thumb < 1)[grey-brown](if:$green_thumb > 0)[grey-green] in color, with a white chest and belly, and you have a very charming smile. ](if:$mayhem <= 4.5)[You are (if:$green_thumb < 1)[grey-brown](if:$green_thumb > 0)[grey-green] in color, with a white chest and belly, and... you don't look all that scary, to be frank. You're looking pretty docile and harmless. You do have a pretty sweet tail fin - almost a quarter of your length - but apart from that, you're not too impressive.(if:$muscles > 0)[ (The muscles help a little, but not much.)] You also have a little cross-shaped marking on your cheek, like so: **+**] (if:$is_rubber > 0)[Well, first of all, you're made out of living rubber. That's... kind of hard to miss. Your body is smooth and shiny, and you make little squeaking noises whenever you move. You have some control over how solid you want the rubber to be (so dripping goo is also an option), but you can't change your basic shape into anything other than a shark. Weird. ] (if:$anonysuit > 0)[Not that there's much to look at. You are wearing a dull black lycra suit that covers your entire body, head to toe. Anonyshark. Your hair is poking out, you guess. Beanie also let you keep your clothes and various other accessories, so you're wearing those on top of the suit. ](if:$horny <= 5)[Your clothes are pretty sensible, all in all. Unremarkable, really. Pants, a shirt; that kind of thing. ](if:$horny > 5 and $horny < 7)[Your outfit is... somewhat sensible. You're not sure where those booty shorts came from. Your tanktop covers most of your chest and torso, though, so that's nice. ](if:$horny >= 7 and $horny < 10)[You're dressed for summer, which is to say that you're wearing a miniskirt and a fishnet tube top. The top covers the upper third of your chest, and the skirt goes about halfway down your thighs. ](if:$horny > 9)[Your clothes seem to be missing in action. You're wearing a bikini top and a tiny thong, and that's it. At least the people around you seem to be enjoying the show. (Though random strangers keep tugging on the thong, then letting it snap back.) ](if:$hello_nurse > 0)[Your outfit is, additionally, nurse-themed. (Sexy nurse, not hospital scrubs nurse.) Everything is white and shiny, and you're wearing a cute little hat with a red cross logo on it. The net stockings and the high heels are a little inconvenient, but that's the price you pay. You do have a big plush syringe prop, so that's good. ](if:$has_hat > 0)[You also have a pretty sweet fedora. Perhaps it's a trilby? You never learned the difference. Anyway, it has holes that let your ears poke out, and it has a band. You can tuck your press ID card in there so it's visible, in case you want to scare people. ](if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[You also put on a data visor and a pair of elbow-length data gloves at some point. You're not quite sure how they look, because the visor's AR functions are editing them out for you, but you assume they're cute. You know, in the cyborg sense. Skintight space-age gloves, anyway. ](if:$goth_makeover > 0)[You are, additionally, wearing a lot of makeup. If that counts as part of your outfit. Purple eyeshadow, shiny black lipstick, bright pink cyberlox... that sort of thing. They go well with your striped stockings and matching gloves. You also have a hairclip - a black bow with a little shark-skull on it. You're not sure if goth-punk is an aesthetic, but that seems to be what you're going for. ](if:$gasmask > 0)[A thick, irremovable gasmask is stuck on your face. It's the fancy, self-sealing kind, and you don't know the security key. There's no way to take it off right now, and there won't be one until the battery has run out. The filters have little biohazard symbols printed on them, so at least it doesn't mess up your aesthetics. The eye-holes are actually pretty generous, too.(if:$gloves_and_visor>0)[ (This leaves room for your visor, presumably.)] You can pull out the filtering apparatus to free up your mouth. It snaps back in as soon as you let go, but it'll let you eat and stuff. ](if:$jacket > 0)[Oh, and you're wearing a cool leather jacket. You can't quite remember where you found that one, but it makes you look mysterious and dangerous and badass. Or like someone who owns a bike, at least. It has a few patches on it, showing characters from old videogames. ](if:$chub > 0)[As for your body... well, you are a little chubby. It looks good on you, to be honest. You have great love handles. ](if:$male_drink >0)[There is a *sizeable* bulge in your underwear, to the point where it's actually kind of awkward to walk. It's preeetty impressive. You have to be careful when looking at horny content in public; your clothes may not be able to contain the resulting... reaction. ](if:$redhead > 0)[You notice that your hair is a *lot* more red than it used to be. You remind yourself of a stoplight. Also, a hammer-and-sickle ear ring? Really? ](if:$go_green > 0)[Your hair (if:$redhead > 0)[also ]has neon green streaks in it(if:$redhead > 0)[, in addition to the red ones]. They are *extremely* bright. Glow-in-the-dark bright. When did that happen? (if:$redhead > 0)[Who keeps picking those colours?] ](if:$green_thumb > 0)[Well, whatever caused it has spread to the rest of your body. Your main skin colour is neon green, and your hair has a rather leafy texture to it. You are constantly trailing flower petals. Plus, you're pretty sure you can do photosynthesis. At least you'll save money on food? ](if:$lisa_needs_braces > 0)[You have braces. That seems extremely silly on a shark-morph, but you have them and they're not coming off. You look like a total dork, and they make you lisp because you aren't used to them. Everything is terrible. ](if:$sunglasses_at_night > 0)[At some point, you found - and picked up - a pair of super rad sunglasses. You're preeeetty sure that you look cool and mysterious. You've already decided that you're not going to take the sunglasses off just because it's *night* or something. (if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[Actually, the sunglasses must've kind of... merged with your visor? So now the visor is just pitch black and reflective from the outside? You're not sure how that's supposed to work, but it sounds *rad as hell.*] ](if:$blue_eyes > 0)[You have bright, vacant blue eyes and your hair has... like... blonde streaks an' junk. It's, like, super silly an' stuff? You, like, don't think it's always been like that, but you're not, like, sure? Also, you've started to, like, talk like this? And it sucks? And you could really go for some sucking right n- c'mon, focus. ](if:$beep_shirt > 0)[You are wearing a pair of wireless headphones - sometimes on your ears, sometimes around your neck. Just in case you feel like rocking out. You're not sure where they came from, but the music is pretty sweet. ](if:$butt > 0)[You have a *great* butt. Not in the sense of it being big but in the sense of it being an excellent rear. Although it is pretty large as well. You're quite proud of it. ](if:$boobs > 0)[You have a huge tits. They look good on you! They're just as firm and/or bouncy as you like them. ... maybe a bit on the large side. Hopefully this won't lead to back pain in the future. Maybe Bubbles can give you some tips. (if:$boobs > 1)[ The second dose of boobs-enhancing nanites really did a number on you. They might've been big before, but now they're *massive.* Gigantic. Gravity-defying. And quite bouncy, which is actually really annoying.] ](if:$muscle > 0)[You are quite muscular. You can literally flex on people if you want.(if:$chub<1)[ Kind of a swimmer's physique, appropriately enough, but a swimmer who lifts cars as a hobby. You've never had a sixpack this great.](if:$chub>0)[ One would expect kind of a swimmer's physique, but you're really more of a wrestler. T h i c c.] You are taller than almost everyone else, and you clearly did not skip leg day. ](if:$muzzle > 0)[You spent the night hanging upside down from the ceiling, wearing several pounds of bondage gear. You were able to get rid of most of it, but you are still wearing a Discount Enforcement-brand smartmuzzle. Which is to say, there's a padded metal ring around your snout, and people can forcibly close it via Bluetooth because it was left on the default password. (if:$gasmask > 0)[ It fits over the gasmask. Normally, there's just enough space *in* the gasmask to let you talk normally, but the smartmuzzle can squeeze it down enough to keep you from talking.] ](if:$piercings > 0)[You have a lot of piercings. Like, a *lot* of them. Several rings in your left ear, bridge piercings across the top of your snout, a cute tongue stud, nipple barbells, a nose ring, snakebites... the list goes on. When you walk past, compass needles wiggle. ](if:$corset > 0)[You are wearing a solid golden wristband. Fashionable, yes... but also enchanted. An invisible forcefield is hugging around your waist, pushing and squeezing your midsection into shape. The magical corset is tight and restrictive, so you can't move as much, but at least your posture is good. ](if:$collar > 0)[A collar has been strapped around your neck by the ever-helpful Bubbles. Nothing to fancy - just black leather with a silver buckle - but it looks good on you. ]That aside, you look pretty much as expected. **You got [[the GOOD ENDING.|The End]] Well done.**

You sit down by the fountain in [[Central Square]] and look yourself over. (if:$is_rubber > 0)[Well, first of all, you're made out of living rubber. That's... kind of hard to miss. Your body is smooth and shiny, and you make little squeaking noises whenever you move. You have some control over how solid you want the rubber to be (so dripping goo is also an option), but you can't change your basic shape into anything other than a shark. Weird. ] (if:$anonysuit > 0)[Not that there's much to look at. You are wearing a dull black lycra suit that covers your entire body, head to toe. Anonyshark. Your hair is poking out, you guess. Beanie also let you keep your clothes and various other accessories, so you're wearing those on top of the suit. ](if:$horny <= 5)[Your clothes are pretty sensible, all in all. Unremarkable, really. Pants, a shirt; that kind of thing. ](if:$horny > 5 and $horny < 7)[Your outfit is... somewhat sensible. You're not sure where those booty shorts came from. Your tanktop covers most of your chest and torso, though, so that's nice. ](if:$horny >= 7 and $horny < 10)[You're dressed for summer, which is to say that you're wearing a miniskirt and a fishnet tube top. The top covers the upper third of your chest, and the skirt goes about halfway down your thighs. ](if:$horny > 9)[Your clothes seem to be missing in action. You're wearing a bikini top and a tiny thong, and that's it. At least the people around you seem to be enjoying the show. (Though random strangers keep tugging on the thong, then letting it snap back.) ](if:$hello_nurse > 0)[Your outfit is, additionally, nurse-themed. (Sexy nurse, not hospital scrubs nurse.) Everything is white and shiny, and you're wearing a cute little hat with a red cross logo on it. The net stockings and the high heels are a little inconvenient, but that's the price you pay. You do have a big plush syringe prop, so that's good. ](if:$has_hat > 0)[You also have a pretty sweet fedora. Perhaps it's a trilby? You never learned the difference. Anyway, it has holes that let your ears poke out, and it has a band. You can tuck your press ID card in there so it's visible, in case you want to scare people. ](if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[You also put on a data visor and a pair of elbow-length data gloves at some point. You're not quite sure how they look, because the visor's AR functions are editing them out for you, but you assume they're cute. You know, in the cyborg sense. Skintight space-age gloves, anyway. ](if:$goth_makeover > 0)[You are, additionally, wearing a lot of makeup. If that counts as part of your outfit. Purple eyeshadow, shiny black lipstick, bright pink cyberlox... that sort of thing. They go well with your striped stockings and matching gloves. You also have a hairclip - a black bow with a little shark-skull on it. You're not sure if goth-punk is an aesthetic, but that seems to be what you're going for. ](if:$gasmask > 0)[A thick, irremovable gasmask is stuck on your face. It's the fancy, self-sealing kind, and you don't know the security key. There's no way to take it off right now, and there won't be one until the battery has run out. The filters have little biohazard symbols printed on them, so at least it doesn't mess up your aesthetics. The eye-holes are actually pretty generous, too.(if:$gloves_and_visor>0)[ (This leaves room for your visor, presumably.)] You can pull out the filtering apparatus to free up your mouth. It snaps back in as soon as you let go, but it'll let you eat and stuff. ](if:$jacket > 0)[Oh, and you're wearing a cool leather jacket. You can't quite remember where you found that one, but it makes you look mysterious and dangerous and badass. Or like someone who owns a bike, at least. It has a few patches on it, showing characters from old videogames. ](if:$chub > 0)[As for your body... well, you are a little chubby. It looks good on you, to be honest. You have great love handles. ](if:$male_drink >0)[There is a *sizeable* bulge in your underwear, to the point where it's actually kind of awkward to walk. It's preeetty impressive. You have to be careful when looking at horny content in public; your clothes may not be able to contain the resulting... reaction. ](if:$hour is 0)[As noted, your skin is tingling. Your mouth is feeling a little sore, like there's something sharp in there. That's probably nothing to worry about. ](if:$hour is 1)[Your skin is changing colour, and your proportions are shifting - it's hard to miss. Your fingernails look more like claws now, and you can feel something pushing out from your back. So maybe that thing about the transformation nanites was actually true. ](if:$hour is 2)[Your transformation is almost complete. Your face is much sharper and pointier than before, and so are your teeth. Your arms and legs are covered in rough shark-skin, your fingers have impressive claws. You have a small tail, and you can feel that a dorsal fin is growing on your back. ](if:$hour is 3)[At this point, you're all shark. You have a pointed muzzle, your teeth are absurdly sharp, and you have a massive tail that keeps knocking into things. People move out of your way when you approach. It feels pretty great. ](if:$redhead > 0)[You notice that your hair is a *lot* more red than it used to be. You remind yourself of a stoplight. Also, a hammer-and-sickle ear ring? Really? ](if:$go_green > 0)[Your hair (if:$redhead > 0)[also ]has neon green streaks in it(if:$redhead > 0)[, in addition to the red ones]. They are *extremely* bright. Glow-in-the-dark bright. When did that happen? (if:$redhead > 0)[Who keeps picking those colours?] ](if:$green_thumb > 0)[Well, whatever caused it has spread to the rest of your body. Your main skin colour is neon green, and your hair has a rather leafy texture to it. You are constantly trailing flower petals. Plus, you're pretty sure you can do photosynthesis. At least you'll save money on food? ](if:$lisa_needs_braces > 0)[You have braces. That seems extremely silly on a shark-morph, but you have them and they're not coming off. You look like a total dork, and they make you lisp because you aren't used to them. Everything is terrible. ](if:$sunglasses_at_night > 0)[At some point, you found - and picked up - a pair of super rad sunglasses. You're preeeetty sure that you look cool and mysterious. You've already decided that you're not going to take the sunglasses off just because it's *night* or something. (if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[Actually, the sunglasses must've kind of... merged with your visor? So now the visor is just pitch black and reflective from the outside? You're not sure how that's supposed to work, but it sounds *rad as hell.*] ](if:$blue_eyes > 0)[You have bright, vacant blue eyes and your hair has... like... blonde streaks an' junk. It's, like, super silly an' stuff? You, like, don't think it's always been like that, but you're not, like, sure? Also, you've started to, like, talk like this? And it sucks? And you could really go for some sucking right n- c'mon, focus. ](if:$beep_shirt > 0)[You are wearing a pair of wireless headphones - sometimes on your ears, sometimes around your neck. Just in case you feel like rocking out. You're not sure where they came from, but the music is pretty sweet. ](if:$butt > 0)[You have a *great* butt. Not in the sense of it being big but in the sense of it being an excellent rear. Although it is pretty large as well. You're quite proud of it. ](if:$boobs > 0)[You have huge tits. They look good on you! They're just as firm and/or bouncy as you like them. ... maybe a bit on the large side. Hopefully this won't lead to back pain in the future. Maybe Bubbles can give you some tips. (if:$boobs > 1)[ The second dose of boobs-enhancing nanites really did a number on you. They might've been big before, but now they're *massive.* Gigantic. Gravity-defying. And quite bouncy, which is actually really annoying.] ](if:$muscle > 0)[You are quite muscular. You can literally flex on people if you want.(if:$chub<1)[ Kind of a swimmer's physique, appropriately enough, but a swimmer who lifts cars as a hobby. You've never had a sixpack this great.](if:$chub>0)[ One would expect kind of a swimmer's physique, but you're really more of a wrestler. T h i c c.] You are taller than almost everyone else, and you clearly did not skip leg day. ](if:$muzzle > 0)[You spent the night hanging upside down from the ceiling, wearing several pounds of bondage gear. You were able to get rid of most of it, but you are still wearing a Discount Enforcement-brand smartmuzzle. Which is to say, there's a padded metal ring around your snout, and people can forcibly close it via Bluetooth because it was left on the default password. (if:$gasmask > 0)[ It fits over the gasmask. Normally, there's just enough space *in* the gasmask to let you talk normally, but the smartmuzzle can squeeze it down enough to keep you from talking.] ](if:$piercings > 0)[You have a lot of piercings. Like, a *lot* of them. Several rings in your left ear, bridge piercings across the top of your snout, a cute tongue stud, nipple barbells, a nose ring, snakebites... the list goes on. When you walk past, compass needles wiggle. ](if:$corset > 0)[You are wearing a solid golden wristband. Fashionable, yes... but also enchanted. An invisible forcefield is hugging around your waist, pushing and squeezing your midsection into shape. The magical corset is tight and restrictive, so you can't move as much, but at least your posture is good. ](if:$collar > 0)[A collar has been strapped around your neck by the ever-helpful Bubbles. Nothing to fancy - just black leather with a silver buckle - but it looks good on you. ]That aside, you look pretty much as expected. (if:$good_night is 0)[Maybe a little sleep-deprived, but that'll clear up.](if:$good_night < 0)[You really didn't sleep well, but you'll survive.](if:$good_night > 0)[You're feeling... pretty good, all in all.] As for your stats...(click-replace:"As for your stats...")[Your **Mayhem** is $mayhem. (if:$mayhem<=4.5)[You're honestly not much of a crime-doer. Maybe the gang has a spot for you to be their mascot, but that's all you can expect.](else-if:$mayhem<8.5)[You can hold your own when it comes to crime, but you're no ringleader. That's probably for the best.](if:$mayhem>=8.5)[You're a one-person state-smashing machine. You're all shark - you have to keep moving, and you have to keep upending the social order. It's what you do. You rock.] Your **Horny on Main** is $horny. (if:$horny<=3.5)[That's barely horny at all, so your gang name will have to be "SFW Shark." Actually, can you pick your own gang name? You should ask the Captain when you get the chance.](else-if:$horny<7)[You're not exactly lewd. You are at least theoretically capable of wearing sensible clothing, and you can eat bananas without making people blush. That's probably a good thing.](if:$horny>=7)[You are, somehow, inherently NSFW. You can go from zero to flirting on a moment's notice, and you know a naughty party trick for every kind of fruit, from the banana to the pineapple. Security cameras are flustered because they can't figure out whether they need to blur you or not.] Your **Podcast** is $nerd. (if:$nerd<=3.5)[You're not much of a thinker. That's cool, though. You have your own strengths. Other people can handle the nerd stuff, like "planning" or "telling you what to do."](else-if:$nerd<7)[You're doing pretty alright with the, you know, thinky stuff. The uhm. The braining. ... okay, you're not showing it right now, but trust me.](if:$nerd>=7)[You're pretty dang smart. You have an opinion on which text editor is the best one, and you're willing to talk about it *in public.*]] [[Neat.|Central Square]]

One does not simply walk into Uptown. That's partially because it's not pedestrian-friendly, as mentioned before, but mostly because the traffic is very tightly controlled. The wealthy have DNA-locked smartcars with onboard cryptocurrency wallets, of course, but one does sometimes need "the help" to come over.(click-append:"come over.")[ So there's one (1) heavily fortified toll station where you can, theoretically, be let into the area. It is manned by three or four riot cops, who make an effort to look vigilant once they notice you approaching.(click-append:"approaching.")[ (if:$exemption_badge is 0)[You don't have a badge, so - the enforcer patiently explains - you're not getting in. Yes, you can get a day pass, that's true. But not here. And you have to apply in advance. And you have to prove that your income was at least 150% of the national average for two out of the last three years. And it takes four to six weeks to process. So maybe, he suggests, you could go extremely away? You slink back to [[Central Square]]. Your **Mayhem** remains at $mayhem. Well that was a waste of time.(set:$hour to $hour+1)] (if:$exemption_badge > 0)[You proudly lift your CURFEW EXEMPTION badge, carefully placing your thumb over the words ONE-TIME. If you have one of those, that means you have to have a SILVER-TIER CITIZENSHIP, right? The guard stares at you in disbelief. "Well... I guess you had better [[come in]]."]]]

*Boop! Cursed* turns out to be a cozy little shop in the basement of a coffee place. You make your way down the narrow wooden staircase and are treated to a fairly random assortment of lace-up corsets, striped stockings and little granite birds.(click-append:"granite birds.")[ You feel a strange compulsion to boop one on the beak. Before your finger can make it there, you hear a rustling noise and turn around. "Oh! Hi there. I was about to close shop for the day." A cat-person emerges from a nearby stack of paintings. She's significantly smaller than you, even with the combat boots. She has short black hair, is dressed in black, and has a choker with a golden ankh on it around her neck. You assume that she handles the goth parts of this operation.(click-append:"the goth parts of this operation.")[ "Pretty much!" She nods. "What can I interest you in? Some [[new clothes]], maybe?" (if:$chub<1)[She eyes your hips. "Or something more... *[[exotic]]?*"]] (set:$went_goth to 10)]

You confidently strut up to the otter guy and sit down right next to him. Once you're certain you have his attention, you deploy |pickup>[your best pickup line.](click-append:?pickup)[ (if:$horny>=6.5)["Yo, dude. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?" He gives you a politely confused look. "No, I always use sunscreen. It's just safer, yeah?" Undeterred, you try again. "No, I mean, like... if you were a beach, I’d pick you to lay on." "Oh, no, there's this place that rents towels. It's pretty cool, I sometimes forget mine at home." You think for a moment. Clearly, this will require special measures.(click-append:"special measures.")[ "You're cute and I'd like to make out with you." "Ohhhh! Ohh. *Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.* Why didn't you just say so? Sure, let's [[do that|make out]]."] ](if:$horny<=6)["Yo, dude. Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?" He gives you a politely confused look. "No, I always use sunscreen. It's just safer, you know?" Oof.(click-append:"Oof.")[ You decide to cut your losses at this point, mutter something about thanking him for the advice, and leave as quickly as possible. Maybe you can still find [[a nice alley to sleep in|find a secluded area]].] ]]

You sit down at her table, keeping some respectful distance. You are rewarded with a nod. You wait a few moments to see if there's a death glare incoming, then - once you've confirmed that you're temporarily allowed to be here - |pickup>[deploy your best/cheesiest pickup line.](click-append:?pickup)[ (if:$horny < 6)["Oh, ah... you must be an artist, because I find myself drawn to you?" So that wasn't the *most* embarassing moment of your life, but you are definitely going to be replaying that in your head for a few years to come. Luckily, it seems like the equine didn't hear you. You decide to just... [[leave|find a secluded area]]. Before it gets any worse. ] (if:$horny >= 6)["Heyyyy. You must be an artist, because I find myself *drawn* to you." Okay, that was awful, but you somehow made it work. She's looking at you *mostly* with disgust, but you totally saw the corners of her mouth twitch a little. And you're pretty cute, so it should be smooth sailing from here on. You decide to strike while the iron is hot.(click-append:"strike while the iron is hot.")[ "Is that vine charcoal? Because I think that's pretty *fine* charcoal. Charcool. Hi. I like your art." She winces visibly at that point. "Okay, you can watch, but only if you promise not to say another word." [[Sounds like a good deal to you.|Casual hangout]]]]]

You don't see any customers, so you don't have to wait in line. Nice. A small tropical bird-person in gym clothes waves you over as soon as you enter. "Oh, hey there! Welcome to BubbleGym!" Their name tag just says TRAINER.(click-append:"TRAINER.")[ Mysterious! You have some questions. Such as: * Isn't this an extremely poor idea?(click-append:"extremely poor idea?")[ A chirp. "Chewing gum while exercising? Oh yeah. You might swallow it. Don't worry, though, we make you sign a waiver first. Plus, it kind of dissolves. It's not really gum."] * How can this possibly be legal?(click-append:"be legal?")[ "Well, it isn't explicitly *illegal,* you see. And hey, if you want to be an athlete in Avalon, it's either this or steroids."] * And, finally, is there a [[free trial]]? (set:$went_gym to 10) ]

"Hmmm... sure, I can think of something for you. C'mon, right this way." She drags you off to a nearby changing room. You are seated on a cushion on the floor.(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$goth_makeover to 1)(set:$nerd to $nerd+0.5)(set:$horny to $horny+0.5) "Okay, just a heads-up: We don't do *just* clothes, but as it happens, we still have a few makeover kits. Now... what do we think here? Pastel goth? Classic goth? Maybe |emogoth>[emo goth?"](click-append:?emogoth)[ You start to answer, but you're getting the impression that your input is not actually required, because that just earns you a bap. "Nonono. I got it. Cyber goth!" Some frantic activity follows. Your hair is spruced up with glowing pink cyberlox; your arms and legs are stuck in white-and-black striped socks. A pair of goggles and a shiny PVC doctor's mask are both considered but ultimately discarded. Makeup, it appears, is more appropriate. The eyeshadow is relatively subtle. The lipstick... well... |lips>["Pucker up!"](click-append:?lips)[ The lipstick is not. It's shiny and black, and you can't help but feel like your lips are... thicker now? Plumper? Something like that. You focus on not bringing up the term "fishlips." Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! Your **Podcast** has increased to $nerd! Apparently, cybergoth counts for that. The cat seems happy with the results. You leave with a cute new look, a business card, and strict instructions to come back once a week to get a refresher. Back to [[Central Square]] ]]

"Okay sure! C'mon, right this way."(set:$horny to $horny+1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$corset to 1) She drags you off to a nearby changing room, grabbing a gold bracelet along the way. "I know just the thing for you! This'll go great with your outfit. Plus, it'll be good to |waitwhat>[get some new fingerprints on it."](click-append:?waitwhat)[ "Uh, don't worry about that part. Here, see how good this looks on you?" The bracelet closes snugly around your wrist. It is very well-made - in the closed state, you can't even see where the clasp was. You were worried that it could be a little cold, but it seems to have warmed up already. Well, it's pretty, but you're not quite sure what the point of this is.(click-replace:"what the point of this is.")[what the point of thiiiieeeep. Suddenly you feel a weird pressure around your waist. An invisible force is wrapping itself around your midsection and *squeezing.* You squirm a little, watching in amazement as your body reshapes itself under the pressure. "Do you like it?" You've never seen a cat wag before. You're not sure if they're supposed to do that. "Pretty rare, pretty powerful. It's a |ringu>[Ring of Corset."](click-append:?ringu)[ Well, it definitely seems to help your posture. It's forcing you to keep your back straight, and you can't help but feel a little more... graceful? "Yeah! Plus, you look *super* pretty in it. Like, *super* pretty. How's your breathing? Sometimes people mention a sense of discomfort." It doesn't hurt, but it is definitely inconvenient. You can't bend your torso at all. "Yeah, it'll take some getting used to." The cat is still staring at your hips, clearly liking what she sees. "Don't worry, in a few days you'll hardly notice it's there." She gives you a very wide grin. "Oh, before I forget... the magic needs a while to charge up and a while to cool down. So there's a mechanism to keep you from taking it off early - that's just not safe. You should be good to go in... oh, |hours>[seventy hours."](click-append:?hours)[ You must be looking rather shocked, because she quickly downplays the statement. "Well, maybe much less than that; it really depends on how stable your morphogenetic field is. Give it some time. If you really can't deal with it, we'll find a way to pry it off. Definitely check in with me, anyway - I want to see dem hips again." She imperiously waves at the air. "Now, shoo! I have a lot of cleaning up to do." Before you know, you have been bustled out of the store and find yourself back in [[Central Square]]. Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! ]]]]

(set:$gloves_and_visor to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)You slip back out of the holodisk library and into a disused storage corridor. You haven't *seen* any employees lurking about, trying to catch you, but better safe than sorry. After some searching, you find a side exit, and leave unmolested. You should take off your gear.(click-append:"take off your gear.")[ You decide that you'll definitely remove the gloves and visor.(click-append:"remove the gloves and visor.")[ You look at your arms. You... can't actually see the gloves? Like, you can feel that they are *there*, but the AR seems to edit them out. That makes it hard to remove them.(click-append:"remove them.")[ You ineffectively pick at where you think the gloves start, but you can't get a grasp on them. They are probably too tight and slippery, all in all. Oh! You can just remove the visor first.(click-append:"remove the visor first.")[ You reach up to where you think the visor is. You... can't feel that either? You know you're wearing it, but your fingers just seem to kind of pass it by. Is the haptic feedback being edited too? Oh dear.(click-append:"Oh dear.")[ Well, that's a problem for a later time. You'll just have to pretend that this is... a fashion statement of some kind. You loop the dangling cable around yourself for now and head back to [[Central Square]].]]]]]

(set:$hour to $hour+1)You shove the clerk aside, jump over the counter, and really tear into the candy. Paper and plastic wrappers go everywhere. At one point, you get so excited that you bite into a plastic bottle, and spray cherry soda all over the lobby. That, in turn, triggers further shark instincts and... well... let's just say that there isn't a lot of candy left afterwards. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem. (This is going straight to your hips, though.) (set:$chub to 1) Eventually, Jack (or one of his employees) succeeds in hiring a group of Discount Security enforcers, who pry you away from the snack bar and throw you out on the street. You slink back to [[Central Square]], trailing chocolate shrapnel and dripping soda.

There isn't much of an "underground" in Avalon, because there isn't much *ground* to begin with. The platform was built with future expansion in mind, though, so there are a lot of just-in-case service pipes down there. You might be able to do something cool if you can find an access port.(click-append:"find an access port.")[ Well, an *open* access port, specifically. These are smart access ports, you see. They use a beautiful combination of RFID and IoT technology to make sure that they always open for valid users, and remain shut for everyone else. There's an elaborate and automated user permission management system, with absolutely no need for manual intervention.(click-append:"manual intervention.")[ So, after like five minutes of searching, you find an access port that has been wedged open with a wooden doorstopper. You climb down into the tube, and find a little service vehicle, parked and idling. It looks to be a trash compactor - you just drive around, put the trash in a little hatch, and press it into a little cube. (There was a slightly confused movie tie-in when *WALL·E 2.0* came out.) You brush some weird moss off the vehicle and climb in. Looks like it's time for [[rogue freelance trash collection]]!]]

You crawl in through the open window and manage to make it inside. It's not graceful, and your stupid gigantic tail keeps getting in the way, but thankfully nobody is watching. As expected, the room is in a state of chaotic disrepair. All the drawers appear to have been pulled out and dumped on the floor. Maybe some of your stuff is still in there?(click-append:"in there?")[ Nothing in this corner of the room. You do find a copy of AV Austen's bestseller *The Primal Spring,* but it's just the cheaply-printed copy that the Nonaligned Iteration society insists on putting into every hotel room. Maybe over here?(click-replace:"Maybe over here?")[Nothing over here. You find some wrapping papers from a brand of chocolate you've never seen before, so you guess the cops just got hungry. Perhaps in that other corner?(click-replace:"Perhaps in that other corner?")[Nothing in that other corner. Well, nothing of value. Some pens, maybe. Who uses pens anymore? You could steal them, but you don't think these add up to a measurable amount of **Mayhem.** Well, guess you're not going to find anything.(click-replace:"not going to find anything.")[sit down on something as soon as you give up and stop looking. *Typical.* Most of your journalistic equipment is gone, but check this out: They left your fedora!(click-append:"your fedora!")[ (As of the New Thirties, they're cool with journalists again.) You dust it off, press it back into shape, and put it on. Sweet! It even seems to have holes for your ears now. You don't find anything else, but you're pretty glad to have that thing back. You feel a lot more like yourself now, even if you're turning into a land-shark for some reason. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! (set:$nerd to $nerd+0.5)Your **Podcast** has increased to $nerd! You prop up a chair against the door and sleep near the window, so you're forewarned if there's another raid. Turns out you needn't have worried, though. You spend a relatively comfortable night in the hotel room, and sleep all the way through 'til morning.(click-append:"morning.")[ In fact, you sleep so well, you actually wake up early. You decide to head for [[Central Square]] right away - maybe you can squeeze in an additional crime before your appointment is due. (set:$good_night to 1)(set:$has_hat to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1) ]]]]]]

To be honest, you're still not quite sure what you did wrong. The prison guards seemed at least kind of civilised, but nobody has been willing to talk to you so far. (They did give you a pamphlet.)(click-replace:"pamphlet.")[print-out of the Wikipedia article on the non-aggression principle, but that doesen't actually help.] To be honest, your memory of the whole day is just kind of a blur. You were on your laptop, uploading some notes via VPN, and then someone threw a flashbang into your room. By the time you recovered, you were pretty much in prison. (click-append:"in prison.")[ You spend some more time staring at the ceiling. Technically speaking, you were warned that this might happen - there are all kinds of stories about Avalon - but you didn't expect it to happen *to you.* That might be a good way to start your article. Assuming you ever make it out of your cell.(click-append:"out of your cell.")[ As if on cue, your cell door slides open, revealing two guards in Avalon Security-brand power armour. One of them waves you out of your cell. They refuse to answer your questions, but they inform you that "a hearing has been arranged." That's probably a good thing, right? The two walk you out of your cell and take you through a confusing maze of corridors. Eventually, they stop at what appears to be an office of some kind. The sign on the door simpy reads “**COORDINATOR**.”(click-append:"“COORDINATOR.”")[ Two people are waiting for you. There is a woman (who is a crocodile) sitting behind a desk, and a man (who looks to be some kind of long-legged wolf). The woman is wearing armour, the man a finely-tailored suit. He also has a flag lapel pin, but you don't think you recognise the country. Both of them are looking very earnest. The guards shut the door behind you, but you don't hear them walk off. "Please, [[take a seat|Coordinator's office]]," the crocodile lady says. The wolf-man simply nods.] ]]

"Yeah, pretty much," the Captain confirms. "We thought about doing something with headlight flashing, but who owns a car anymore? Come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew. Bunch of nerds, but their hearts are in the right places." She touches part of the door, which slides open.(click-append:"slides open.")[ Huh. That's slightly better tech than you expected. The workshop looks roughly like you expected, though. There's a lot of grafitti and bare concrete, some mismatched (but comfy-looking) chairs and tables, several cardboard boxes full of electronic components, way too many electrical outlets, some defaced ad banners, several loudspeakers... a big banner on the wall that says to **ᴅᴇꜱᴛᴙᴏY ᴄᴀᴩɪᴛᴀʟɪꜱᴍ**. "We stole that one from a movie set," the Captain confides. "Let's meet the rest of the gang. This is basically going to be a little demo of the different kinds of shark crime." Then, a little louder: "Hey! I got them! Get your asses down here!" She rings a bell you didn't notice before.(click-append:"a bell you didn't notice before.")[ You can hear some rustling from deeper within the workshop. Turns out there are several more sharkgirls around. "Okay, let's see." The Captain points at the first shark to come down the stairs, who appears to be wearing a beanie hat and a hoodie. "That one's Beanie. Beanie is a goddamn nerd, so if you need to do any tech stuff, ask them and brace for a thirty-minute list of trivia." Beanie waves. You notice that some cyan hair is poking out from underneath the hat. "We know each other, actually! Kind of. I donated to your crowdfunding campaign." Always nice to meet a fan.(click-append:"meet a fan.")[ The next shark appears to be blonde, and also... uh... very casually underdressed? There's a bikini top, a thong, and a smile. That's pretty much it. You don't quite know where to look. "We call her Bubbles," the Captain explains. "She's mostly here for eye candy, but she also makes one heck of a distraction." Bubbles nods enthusiastically, bouncing on her toes. "Like, haiiii!~ Which is actually like... German for shark." The Captain waves her off. “Finally, there's Rivets.”(click-replace:"Rivets.”")[ Rivets. He's got a mechanical arm. I have it on good authority that he owns at least one shirt, but nobody's ever seen him wear it.” Rivets waves the arm in question. He is also has rimless glasses and spiky black hair. “He's pretty cool. Don't ask about the data-glasses, we don't want to encourage him.” "Alright! Enough foreplay, now." The Captain grabs a wrist brace from one of the workbenches. |okgo>["Ready?"] (click-append:?okgo)[The Captain snaps the wrist-mounted computer onto your wrist, and the brace seals itself shut with a hiss. You feel a little prick, and your arm starts to tingle. "You may feel a little sting as the transformation nanites-" Beanie is swiftly shushed by Rivets. "Nonono, don't spoil it. You ready for [[the good part]], friend?" ]]]]]

(set:$mayhem to $mayhem-1.5)(set:$go_green to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)You carefully maneuver your stolen ride out of the service hatch and onto the street above. The controls are just a single joystick and two buttons, really. So your vehicle is tiny and looks like an oversized toy car. With a little imagination, you can probably still turn that into a joyride. Fancy some Smol Theft Auto?(click-append:"Smol Theft Auto?")[ *Vroom vroom!* You have to make the noises yourself, but you try your best. AV Austen had to admit that exhaust fumes and poorly-ventilated service tunnels don't mix, so it uses an electric motor. And they do like 15 km/h. You drive along the back alleys, slightly faster than the pedestrians, and occasionally swerve out of your way to bump into discarded soda cans and stuff. Every time you hit one, the control console rewards you with a little bleep. Okay, that's... that's actually kind of cool.(click-append:"kind of cool.")[ You keep driving the car around for like half an hour, both above ground and below, collecting discarded bits of garbage and dumping it into collection pods. You beat the high score! Eventually, you find the maintenance tunnel that leads back to [[Central Square]], and you drop off your vehicle there. It can find its own way back, the AI is pretty smart. Okay, this... yeah, no, there's no way to pretend that Rogue Recycling is much of a crime. Sorry. Your **Mayhem** has decreased to $mayhem. But it *was* fun. And you did something for the environment maybe??]]

"In" turns out to mean the guard booth, not Uptown proper. You are asked to wait in the back while they arrange for your pass to be checked. They do not actually ask you to hand over the badge, which is... a little strange?(set:$oink to 1) That said, the waiting room is fairly comfortable.(click-append:"fairly comfortable.")[ You know. In a nondescript way. Overstuffed leather chairs, crumpled old magazines, an Art on the wall.(click-append:"an Art on the wall.")[ (A blank map, saying THE PLACE TO BE: WITH YOUR FRIENDS, and a clock, saying (if:$hour<3)[LATER](if:$hour>=3)[EARLIER].)] Better than your prison cell, but only just about. Nothing to do but |d>[wait.](click-append:?d)[ |a>[...](click-append:?a)[ |b>[...](click-append:?b)[ |c>[...](click-append:?c)[ You don't think the guards are coming back.(click-append:"You don't think the guards are coming back.")[ In fact, they seem to have left entirely. The front room is completely bare and empty. Nobody is waiting in line, and - checking around the building - nobody is trying to jump the border. You think you remember seeing some computer consoles in the front, for operating the gate and such, but... no. Nothing. There is nothing at all here, except for the box of donuts the cops were eating.(click-append:"the box of donuts the cops were eating.")[ You take one of them, depriving the *jackboots* of their sugar dough.(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5) Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem!] You search around for the back door - you know, the one that would take you into Uptown - but you find nothing. The booth only has one entrance, the one facing Midtown. The fence is very high and very electrified, so that's out too. Eventually, for lack of other options, you head back to [[Central Square]]. That was... weird.(set:$hour to $hour+1) ]]]]]]

Obviously. *Obviously* you'd walk for thirty minutes, take a wrong turn, and find yourself face-to-face with two guys with body armor and DISCOUNT SECURITY nametags. (if:$muscles < 1)[Well, head to chest. Power armor makes you tall.] They look to be just as shocked as you are. One of them holds out his hand. "Stop!"(click-replace:"Stop!")[Sto- oof!" The streets of Downtown are full of random debris, including discarded cardboard boxes. Without even thinking you threw one of them at him, then started running in the other direction. You award yourself half a point of **Mayhem** for quick thinking. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! Discount Security or not, you need to get away from these people *right now* unless you want to repeat the whole jail experience. You half-remember that Discount Security has pursuit quotas, so these two will be on your tail(click-prepend:"tail")[literal ] for a while.(if:$corset>0)[ Your magical corset is not helping at all. You can't stride as fast or take big breaths.] * You could hide in the [[abandoned factory]]. You can still make out the words "Amalgamated Rubberage" on the half-collapsed sign. There might be some crates or disused machinery you could use for cover. * Alternatively, you could try your luck and run down a [[sleazy back alley]]. You have no idea where it goes, but if you're lucky, it'll be too narrow and winding for them to follow. Downtown is kind of a maze. (if:$go_green > 0)[* Oh, and... you almost missed that one, but there's an [[abandoned lot]] nearby that's slowly being reclaimed by nature. You can probably find a good hiding spot there. ] You should pick one of those, and quickly. You can hear them closing in on you. "I said *stop,* dammit! In the name of the law!]

You turn the corner and jump through a hole in the rusting fence, presumably left there by previous urban explorers. There's a little side-door here, which resists your first kick but not your second. You quickly slam it shut and prop a pallet up in the wall, hopefully blocking it. Right. Your improvised barricade has bought you some time, but it won't keep the patrol out if they're serious about catching you. You still need to think of a plan.(click-append:"think of a plan.")[ You switch on the flashlight application on your handy wrist-computer and head further into the building. It starts out looking like your average abandoned factory - you know, damaged walls and rusted warning signs and glass shards on the floor - but then you turn a corner and just... stop. This doesn't look abandoned at all.(click-append:"This doesn't look abandoned at all.")[ Nobody is here, true, but the main hall (you presume) looks... clean. There's no debris here, and the lights are off, but there's a lot of notably non-stolen machinery in here. There are walkways and doors. You can see some light pollution through the windows above, which - you notice - also aren't broken. Finally, there are three or four huge vats here. They are warm to the touch, and bubbling with mystery liquid. Isn't this factory supposed to be abandoned? Has someone else moved in here? Well, none of this actually helps you. You can't see another exit, and - judging by the crash and the swearing just behind you - the patrol is about to catch up with you. Well... you have gills and you *really* don't want to go back to prison. You could [[jump into the vat]] and hope that the... whatever is in there... doesn't end up affecting your health. If you can't think of anything, you'll [[get caught]]. Sounds like a *very* uncomfortable night to you.]]

You pick one of the alleyways at random and start running. The enforcers are right behind you - you can hear them stomping and cursing - but the alleyway is pretty narrow and twisty. Their power armour may look impressive, but you are much more agile than they are. You are able to build some distance.(click-append:"build some distance.")[ Downtown is subject to a lot of expansion and consolidation, depending on market conditions and corporate politics. As such, the side-streets are kind of a mixed bag. This one isn't even technically a street; the ground is all rusty corrugated metal and hexplates, bolted together more or less at random. It doesn't feel trustworthy at all - you wouldn't want to drive a vehicle down this road. Anyway, the alleys. Once you pick one, you kinda have to stick with it and just... hope you'll eventually hit an intersection and not just a dead end.(click-append:"dead end.")[ Well. Today is not your lucky day. There are very tall buildings to your left and your right, and the way ahead is blocked by what looks like a huge service pipe. You manage to stop before you run into the thing, so that's nice, but this is still a dead end. Well, you'll have to risk it. You'll need to step back, get a running start, and see if you can [[do a cool parkour move|workshop]] over the wall. Then again, you'll probably break all of your bones if you try that. (Do shark-morphs have bones? You're not sure.) If you don't think you can make it over the wall, you can always [[surrender|get caught]] and hope for mercy.]]

(set:$muscle to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)"Sure thing, follow me!" She shows you through the door behind the counter. There is a long corridor with several doors, labelled as "Video Exercise Booth" #1 through #5. (if:$visited_holodix >0)[(It reminds you of a certain other place. You wonder if VR businesses *have* to be sleazy for some reason.)] None of them seem to be occupied, so you pick one at random.(click-append:"pick one at random.")[ Not much to see in here, really. A ventilation grid, a fancy padded bench, a Quilter-Filter Hydration Station in case you get thirsty. The clerk points you at the bench, and you lie down.(click-append:"lie down.")[ "Okay, so, here's how this works. You just put on this VR gear (if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[- actually, I guess we can skip that step since you brought your own for some reason? - ]and we'll pop some of that gum in your mouth while you're boxing in a videogame. As far as your muscles and your brain are concerned, it'll be just like real exercise, but a lot less awkward and messy. Sound good?" Sounds good. (click-append:"Sounds good.")[ She pops the chewing gum into your mouth and switches on VR. You spend some time in a low-polygonal boxing ring, beating up on vaguely-rendered mannequins. They move around and punch back, so you feel like you're getting some decent exercise. Yes, they obviously can't hurt you, but you feel inclined to play along. You continue until the chewing gum runs out of flavour, then spit it out and sit back up. That was mildly amusing. You plug back out and look at the clerk.(click-replace:"at the clerk.")[at the clerk, who is staring at you with her mouth gaping open. "Done already? That's fine, let's see how you **holy fucking-**" That facial expression could be shock or confusion. You're not sure which. Surprise, certainly. You wave your hand before her eyes to snap her out of- ... Wow, you're *ripped.* Is that really your arm?(click-append:"your arm?")[ Well, it is, obviously, but it's like twice as thick as you remember it. You slide up your shirt, out of curiousity, and discover (if:$chub<1)[a brand new six-pack. Hell yes!](if:$chub>0)[a whole lot of muscle and tight skin. You haven't lost the chub, so you're built like a tank now. Niiice.] This stuff really works!(click-append:"really works!")[ "Well, I, uhm." The bird chirps excitedly. "I've never seen it do *that* before. How many nanites were in that- I-..." She takes a deep breath and finally manages to calm down. "Well, I hope you enjoyed your sample? And will tell all your friends where you got these?" You probably will, at that. (The fact that your system was already full of nanites probably helped, but oh well.) You can't wait to get back to [[Central Square]] and flex on people. (set:$horny to $horny+0.5)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! ] ]]]]]

(set:$piercings to 1)(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)(set:$good_night to 0)(set:$hour to $hour+1)Law enforcement is strange in Avalon. Uptown gets all the competent officers, obviously. Downtown only gets very occasional patrols, but the enforcers make a point of using extremely disproportionate punishments. Midtown sits kind of in between the two - the area is subject to frequent patrols, but not *motivated* or *competent* patrols. As such, you can just hide under a cardboard box and nobody will notice you violating curfew.(click-append:"violating curfew.")[ You do hear a few patrols, but - as expected - nobody actually checks in on your side alley. You can even exploit a quiet moment to drag the box near an exhaust vent, so you have it nice and cozy. That said, hiding among all of this scrap metal is pretty uncomfortable. And you have no idea how that's interacting with your transformation nanites.(click-append:"nanites.")[ Well, you *do* have an idea, actually. Whenever some of the metal pokes against your skin, you can sort of feel it... sinking in? Does that make sense? Like your skin is consuming it. You keep plucking the bits of metal off and flicking them away, but you eventually doze off.(click-append:"doze off.")[ You wake up as dawn breaks. Not the best night you've ever had, but you did get a little rest at least. You yawn, wiggle and stretch, pushing the box off. Some casual inspection reveals that bits of metal did, indeed, merge in with your body. So you have piercings now. Like, a *lot* of piercings. Several rings in your left ear, bridge piercings across the top of your snout, a cute tongue stud, nipple barbells, a nose ring, snakebites... the list goes on. When you walk past, compass needles wiggle. At least that metal looks vaguely intimidating. You award yourself half a point of **Mayhem** for that, reaching a new total of $mayhem. Plus, it's uh. ... it's kind of hot. ((set:$horny to $horny+1)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny!) You sit down on the box to watch the sunrise.(click-append:"watch the sunrise.")[ It's kind of pretty, with the sun rising across the building and the multicoloured clouds and stuff. Well, you're clearly not getting back to bed. Might as well head back to [[Central Square]]. ]]]]

You're close friends with your newsblog's courtroom sketch artist, so you're able to chat about art a little. You know what crosshatching is, for example. The Avalon Security enforcers show up shortly after curfew, but your new friend is happy to help you to a Day Pass.(click-append:"Day Pass.")[ (Valid on day of issuance, unless issued after 22:00 - then it's valid through the following day.)] It's not actually a big deal.(click-append:"a big deal.")[ Anyway, turns out she's actually an architect and she's here on a study trip. Hence all the sketches of buildings - Avalon is subject to some unique constraints, being out at sea and having a limited carrying capacity and all that. She draws in her free time as well, though. She's kinda thought about doing it as a career, but she doesn't like the idea of letting it get too commerical, you know?(click-append:"you know?")[ Yeah, that makes sense to you. Would you like to see some of her private sketches, you ask? You would. In the end, the two of you don't end up getting much sleep, but you still have a lot of fun, just sipping wine - or grape juice if you don't like alcohol - and talking shit about art and ridiculous buildings. You eventually end up back in [[Central Square]] just before dawn, with a shiny new ONE-TIME CURFEW EXEMPTION badge. Just a piece of paper with some electronics printed on/in it, really, but it still looks cool. It has a link to a Newgrounds gallery scribbled on the back, just in case you... you know... want to follow up sometime. (You guess that's where artists hang out these days.) (set:$exemption_badge to 1)(set:$horny to $horny+0.5)(set:$nerd to $nerd+0.5)(set:$good_night to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)]]

You straddle his lap and start making out with him just as the Avalon Security enforcers step over. Unfortunately, they just wait until you have to stop to breathe, but your new friend is more than happy to help you to a Day Pass.(click-append:"Day Pass.")[ (Valid on day of issuance, unless issued after 22:00 - then it's valid through the following day.)] The enforcers leave, a little disgruntled. The two of you continue to hang out for the rest of the night.(click-append:"for the rest of the night.")[ He turns out to be... well, he's not the most scintillating conversationalist, but he *is* a marine biologist in addition to being a beach bro. That's kind of cool. He doesn't get any of your vintage sex puns about "do[ing] it like they do on the Discovery Channel," unfortunately. But you learn a lot of cool trivia about octopodes when you suggest "sucking face." That's a nice consolation price. You even get to see the aquarium!(click-append:"see the aquarium!")[ You don't end up getting much sleep, but it's still a pretty nice night. You eventually end up back in [[Central Square]] just before dawn, with a shiny new ONE-TIME CURFEW EXEMPTION badge. Just a piece of paper with some electronics printed on/in it, really, but it still looks cool... particularly because it also has the name of a certain marine biologist's Mastodon account scribbled on the back.(set:$exemption_badge to 1)(set:$horny to $horny+0.5)(set:$good_night to 0)(set:$hour to $hour+1) ]]

You scramble up the nearest metal ladder. You can hear a series of *thumps* and *crashes* behind you, and make it up on the walkway just as the two enforcers break into the hall. "What in the- hey! Get down from there right now!" One of them bellows. Well, you'll be happy to comply.(click-append:"comply.")[ You take a deep breath, hold your nose shut, and take a step back. The smaller of the two armoured figures realises what you're doing and runs for the ladder, but they're too far away to stop you. *Splash!* You submerge yourself in the thick, warm liquid. A quick wiggle confirms that your gills do indeed work, so you try your best to relax. There's no way they'll take a stupid risk like this.(click-append:"take a stupid risk like this.")[ There must be something weird going on with the liquid, because you can kind of hear their voices. "...know what, screw it. ... some kind of tweaked-out... even knows what's in the... just too much risk when I'm one week from retirement." You can't argue with that. (click-append:"argue with that.")[ Your plan seems to be working. The tank is opaque, so you can't actually see them, but you can sort of... feel them step away. Their outdated power armour must be extremely heavy; each step causes the hall to vibrate. Their voices are rather more quiet now. "Yeah." This is followed by a brief pause. "What's retirement, though?" "Hah!" The first voice again. "Trust me, you won't need to worry-" A door slams shut, and the voices are gone. Seems your plan worked just fine. Fuck the police, yo. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! You wait for another minute or two, then [[resurface]]. ]]]

Right. You can probably jump up, kick yourself off that building, grab on the top of the pipe, and vault over. You're gonna have to get a running start, though. So you take a few steps back and get ready.(click-replace:"get ready.")[the floor slides away under your feet. This day, seriously. You drop roughly a meter before landing on your ass. As you look up, the floor panel slides back into place, closing the gap. So that was probably an intentional feature. The two enforcers are probably still stomping around somewhere up there, so you start looking around for a possible way to escape. Turns out that this is kind of a tunnel, and it only goes in one direction, so... you start crawling.(click-append:"crawling.")[ The tunnel is small and cramped and dark, and you soon reach a dead end. at this point, you're more or less expecting that, but thankfully, this turns out to be a false wall. You press against the wall, and it pops out. With some effort, you wiggle out of the tunnel. You take another fall, and end up on a table. You cough and brush some dust off your clothes. You are looking, upside-down, at a rather disapproving shark face. Oh, it's one of the Captain's goons - Beret?(click-append:"Beret?")[ "Close. It's Beanie. And I have *no idea* what you were thinking," Beanie says, waving an oversized wrench for emphasis. "There's like a half-dozen cheapass capsule hotels that don't check ID, you know. I mean, they *check* it, but they don't actually implement the cryptographic validation like they're supposed to. You could fool them with a *hand-draw* QR code. You know, on graphing paper? We did a proof of concept back at- okay, not the point." They sigh, sitting down next to your table. "Well, now that you're here, feel free to make yourself |comf>[comfortable."](click-append:?comf)[ "The Captain isn't here right now, but I can't imagine she'd mind having you stay the night. Especially now that you've managed to stir up the security services. You should be glad that I happened to check the cameras and managed to open the tunnel for you. Rivets and Beanie are [[upstairs]] somewhere." Alternatively... you've had an incredibly exhausting day. And this table isn't so uncomfortable. You could just... [[stay here]]. And try to catch your breath a little. Soak in the ambiance. Either way, you figure that actually escaping that patrol has got to be worth another half-a-point of **Mayhem**. Fuck the popo, and all that. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! ]]]]

You're quick on your feet, but outrunning someone in a powered exosuit is just not going to work(if:$muscles > 0)[ - not even for you]. You manage to stay ahead of the enforcers, but they quickly gain on you. You run as fast as you can, keeping an eye out for another opportunity to evade them.(click-append:"evade them.")[ That opportunity never comes. Eventually, you miss a corner, slip, and stumble. Before you can regain your footing, one of the enforcers tackles you. They grab you and drag you off into a nearby building - or deeper into the building you were already in, depending on where they caught you. (Things got a bit hectic during the chase.)(click-append:"during the chase.)")[ One of them is a bearded dragon - not the animal, that is, just a dragon with a beard. The other looks to be a fox, albeit with grey fur. Funny, you always find yourself paying attention to the weirdest little details whenever you are [[in deep trouble]]. (set:$mayhem to $mayhem-1)(By the way, your **Mayhem** has decreased to $mayhem. Fighting the law would normally give you street cred, but not if the law wins and especially not if the law is Discount Enforcers.)]]

Well, you're hanging upside-down and you're naked except for bondage gear. Not your proudest moment. Better start trying to escape.(click-append:"trying to escape.")[ The cable ties connecting your wrists are pretty sturdy. You can tug and pull on them, but all that achieves is having them press into your skin. Eventually, you start to wonder about the hook that's keeping you attached to the ceiling. If they just used random equipment they found lying around... it can't be that sturdy, right? You kick and squirm around as much as you can, and this produces an encouraging *creak.* You keep going, and eventually, you can feel the ropes start to give.(click-append:"start to give.")[ You hear another *creak,* followed soon by a *snap* as one of the ancient ropes gives out. You land on the ground face-first with a *thump.* Oof. (click-append:"Oof. ")[Luckily, it was a short drop. They must've left you suspended just inches above the floor. You take a moment to rest on the ground, stretching your poor legs and arms as much as the ropes will allow. You're hurting a bit, but this isn't nearly as bad as you expected it to be. Sharks have cartilage instead of bones - maybe that helped? Or perhaps it's the nanites. Once you feel like you can move again, you spend some time methodically removing all the bondage gear.(click-append:"removing all the bondage gear.")[ You wiggle around on the floor until you bump into a box, then rub your face against it until the blindfold slips off. Light is streaming in through the grimy windows, so it seems to be morning. You then find an old boltcutter nearby, which you use to cut the cable ties holding your wrists together. Once your arms are free (god it feels good to stretch them) you can slowly and methodically remove and unwrap the ropes. Finally, it's time to get rid of the muzzle.(click-append:"get rid of the muzzle.")[ So, about that muzzle. It, uh. It's not coming off.(click-append:"coming off.")[ You can get it open with little difficulty - just get a claw into the hinge and poke around a bit until it unlocks - but it seems to be stuck to your skin somehow. Whenever you try to grab it and pull it off, it immediately clamps down and re-locks itself. Well, you'll have to deal with that later. For now, you should pick up your stuff, get dressed, and limp back into [[Central Square]] so you don't miss your appointment(s). ]]]]]] (set:$muzzle to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$good_night to -1)

You know, you were scared up there on the catwalk, but this is actually sort of pleasant. This weird... goo... stuff is pretty thick, but not *that* thick, and it's rather warm too. There's something funny about floating in a body-temperature liquid You should figure out what's in here and get a tank for your living room. Anyway, as nice as this is, you probably should climb out. You've been in here for like half an hour, so these two goons are long gone. Your skin feels amazing - like all the small cuts and bruises you got yesterday are just gone - but you don't want more exposure to mystery liquids than strictly neccessary. Time to climb out, you guess.(click-append:"Time to climb out, you guess.")[ ... Okay, before you do that, you swim a few circles with just your backfin poking out above the surface. Hee. For real, though.(click-append:"For real, though.")[ You swim towards the surface of the murky liquid and grab onto the rim of the tank. You experience some difficulty dragging yourself up, but eventually make it onto the catwalk. You blink a few times, finding yourself having to squint. Sunlight is filtering through the skylights. You can hear the tram rumble past the - uhm. Is it... is it morning? That can't be. How long were you [[in that vat]] anyway?]]

The dragon gently taps you on the nose with a nightstick, encouraging your complete co-operation. "Well, first order of business: We use nudity as a prison uniform. So these'll need to go. I'll take care of that while the rookie looks for some rubber hoses and such." He tugs on your top.(click-append:"on your top.")[ You can't help but blush(if:$horny > 7)[ in anticipation]. "Also, we can't actually afford holding cells," the bearded dragon explains as he removes your clothes, neatly folding them up and tossing them into a nearby box. His colleague pins your hands behind your back and ties them together with a pair of cable ties. "It's a cost leadership strategy, you know? It's all abandoned buildings and makeshift restraints." A leather band goes around your neck, and your wrists are tied to the leather band, forcing them up behind your back.(click-append:"behind your back.")[ The rookie then wraps a strip of cloth around your head, covering your eyes. You are roughly shoved on the ground, then the two pick you up by your legs, lifting you up. Some ropes are wrapped around your tail, your legs... your whole body, really. It feels like a makeshift harness. A hook is attached to the rope harness, and two lift you up(if:$chub > 0)[ with some effort]. There must be a hook somewhere above, or maybe there are ropes tied to rafters? Whatever the exact mechanics are, you end up blind and helpless, suspended from the ceiling, dangling upside-down. Finally, a cold metal band is snapped over (around?) your snout, forcing your mouth shut. You hear the enforcers step back, presumably to admire their handywork.(click-append:"admire their handywork.")[ In fact, you hear an approving grumble from the dragon. "Policy is to rough you up a bit, but I feel like you should be able to learn your lesson without further encouragement." He gives you a smack on the rear, though, sending you swinging. You yelp, more in surprise than pain. "Yep, sounds good." The rookie snickers. "You should be able to wiggle free by morning if you put some effort into it. Stay on the straight and narrow now, fishy!" You hear heavy steps, then a door being slammed shut. You spend [[a very uncomfortable night]] dangling from the ceiling. (set:$horny to $horny+1.5)(This is a rather compromising position, so your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny.)] ]]

You drag yourself to one of the small second-floor windows, still dripping and trailing that weird... goo... stuff. Is it seriously day already? You wipe the dust off the window and peer outside.(click-replace:"You wipe the dust off the window and peer outside.")[You try to wipe the dust off the window, but only succeed in getting slime on it. Typical. It *is* day, though. It's pretty bright outside, and... come to think of it, you could just check your wrist-computer. Thankfully it seems to have survived your little bath. Yeah, it's day. Thankfully you didn't miss more than a few hours; you're still on time for your apartment. You should dry yourself off and leave.(click-append:"dry yourself off and leave.")[ Okay, so... there's a second issue. You were thinking that maybe there's a layer of goo sticking to your skin, right? It's a mystery liquid, who knows what properties it has. Yeah no that *is* your skin.(click-append:"your skin.")[ Your whole body, in fact, is shiny and drippy and half-transparent. You are still more or less shark-shaped, of course, but you're soft and squishy and malleable. If you focus, you can make yourself solid; in that case, you just look like you're made out of rubber. Presumably, you could also will yourself to melt into a puddle, but that'll take some practice. Well, you'll have to deal with that later. For now, you'll just kind of... have to remember to stay hydrated. You should probably drip your way back into [[Central Square]] so you don't miss your appointment(s). (set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$is_rubber to 1)]]]

How does the economy of Avalon actually work? This is a popular topic, often discussed at *particularly* tedious parties. After all, this is an artificial island deep in international waters. Transportation is extremely expensive, and there are no natural resources to exploit. The secret lies in the Avalon Power Authority. Geothermal vents, offshore tidal lagoons, wind parks, solar collectors... this is somewhat embarassing to Corporate - it has philosophical objections to green energy - but people will happily take free electricity when offered. Avalon is a very good place if you need a lot of electricity and not a lot of mineral resources. This means a lot of cryptocurrency mining, but there's some day trading too, and - of course - information technology. Also, there aren't any regulations to worry about, so there's a lot of Big Pharma. Anyway, the AutoFactory. It's one of these on-demand production places, with a coworking space attached to it. (if:$male_drink<1 and $female_drink < 1)[ This calls for some good old-fashioned *investigative journalism.* Which is to say, you could sneak around the building and [[raid the dumpsters]].] If you're feeling political, you coouuuuuld do some [[labor agitation]]. That's pretty menacing.(set:$visited_factory to 99)

You *guess* that programmers and day traders still need to be liberated, since they are workers. They tend to not unionise, which is... actually part of the problem, come to think of it. Alright, fine. You've convinced yourself. You can check in with them.(click-append:"check in with them.")[ You enter the co-working space, step into the elevator, and press a button at random. You end up in... some FinTech startup, apparently? According to the posters on the wall, they switched to an "enterprise Agile framework." Oh. They are going to be in meetings all day. Fine, you can still mess with the means of production or something.(click-append:"or something.")[ You do a quick check and find a few computers that aren't currently in use, but where the user forgot to lock them. You take a screenshot of the desktop, set it as the new background, then create a new folder and *move all of the shortcuts in there.* Hee.(click-append:"Hee.")[ Also, everyone who wrote down their password on a sticky note and placed it under their keyboard? Yeah, all of these people have new sticky notes and new passwords now, and their new passwords are page-long quotes from *Das Kapital.* Nice.(click-append:"Nice.")[ Finally, you sneak into a conference room and write "HECK CAPITALISM" on the whiteboard... *in red marker.* (Also, "LOOK UP SHARK CRIME SQUAD", and then like five or six little shark doodles.) Sweet!(click-append:"Sweet!")[ (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+1)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! [[Better flee the offices before that one gregarious/talkative web developer shows up.|Central Square]] (set:$redhead to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1) ]]]]]

With a running start, you (if:$chub<1)[easily](if:$chub>0)[barely] make it over the rickety wooden fence and into the disused lot. That seems to have been a good call - you can hear the two Discount Enforcers stomp and yell their way past the fence. They must've missed the little side alley. Whew! You make your way into the area, looking for some debris or rusting construction equipment to... ... You know, this doesn't actually look abandoned to you.(click-append:"abandoned to you.")[ If you had to guess, you'd say it's more... undeveloped? You know how abandoned areas in cities look. Yes, there's grass, but usually you also get broken glass bottles, crumbling stone, cigarette butts, rusting metal, graffiti, the occasional shopping trolley... you know, city stuff. This place looks more like a... a meadow, perhaps? That seems hard to believe, but it genuinely feels like you've stepped into a different place entirely.(click-append:"a different place entirely.")[ Avalon is rather short on vegetation, given that a) everything's surrounded by saltwater, b) there's no soil to speak of, and c) the city's main export is air pollution. Avalon does have algae, of course - there's always algae - but... nothing like this should exist. You're no botanist, but you're pretty sure there shouldn't be grass this soft and deep.(click-append:"soft and deep.")[ Well, the area doesn't seem to have *cover,* per se, but you do find a little depression in the uneven ground. You sit down, and find out it's rather soft. It's... well, this sounds weird, but this place is rather [[peaceful]]. You can't even hear the sound of the city anymore. No heavy bootsteps from beyond the fence. You could probably rest here for a while. (set:$green_thumb to 1) ]]]

So peaceful, in fact, that you drift off to sleep. At least, you *hope* that's what happened. You definitely remember closing your eyes for a moment. When you opened them again, you found yourself sitting on a giant leaf. Clouds are below and besides you, and everything is lit by a diffuse white light with no clear source. Flower petals are drifting past on a lazy breeze. You appear to be sharing a leaf with a... a person-sized anthropomorphic bee, apparently? She is white, unlike most bees, and seems to be glowing slightly. Oh, maybe that's where the light is coming from.(click-append:"coming from.")[ "I am so glad you could make it!" your host announces, excitedly fluttering her wings. She presses a mug of tea into your hands. "We do not get a lot of guests here in Faerieland. Welcome to the Royal Court!" It feels... impolite to say, but that seems unlikely.(click-append:"seems unlikely.")[ "Well, obviously I am not literally the faerie queen. That would be weird," the creature says. "I am really a prototype terraforming device, but that's *pretty much like* being a nature goddess." You decide to stall for time so you can think of a polite answer to that, and take a sip from your beverage.(click-append:"take a sip from your beverage.")[ It's pretty tasty, as far as impossible mystery liquids go. Warm, hints of peppermint, honey... you've had worse dream-food. The cup itself seems to be made out of pressed leaves. The apparition is talking again. "The project was cancelled when funding ran out, but they just... dumped the equipment. It was not scrapped or anything like that. I still have most of the features. Soil reclamation, toxic waste cleanup, a fertilizer system, pheromone dispensers, some seeds to get an ecosystem started... the bee-printer is my personal favourite." You can see that.(click-append:"see that.")[ "Yeah, I figured I might as well go all-in on the aesthetic." She waves an arm, which - you just now notice - has holographic vines curled around it. She touches your wrist, and the vine begins to move. "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you real quick." She leans forward, close to you. You can't help but notice she has a very well-developed chest. "When I saw you near one of the reclamation sites, I just knew I had to let you know that I appreciated your efforts. You helped me a lot back there." Helped?(click-append:"Helped?")[ She waves her antennae at you. "Of course! I keep trying to spread seeds through the maintenance tunnels, but the stupid maintenance vehicles never go where I need them to go. You totally gave me an opening! Plus, I always appreciate trash cleanup. If people cared about their environment, my job would be a lot easier. As it is, they dumped me out, half-finished, on some rusted-out half-dead oil rig in the middle of the ocean. Not making it easy." She removes one of the holographic vines from her arm and ties it around your wrist. It feels nice and... warm, somehow? Soft to the touch. You suddenly feel very tired again. Can one fall asleep while already in a dream? "I would like to get off this island at some point, but I cannot possibly ask that of you. Just... keep it in mind, alright? If you need somewhere to go, I will be here." You can find yourself drift off to sleep again. You have no further dreams, at least none that you can remember. All in all, you spend [[a fairly comfortable night]] in the grass. ]]]]]

(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$good_night to 1)It feels like you closed your eyes for only a few minutes, but when you open them again, the sun is high up in the sky. You are resting in a bed of soft grass, with your clothes folded up in a neat pile next to your head. Great. Now you've got grass stains all over your... well... all over your *everywhere,* by the looks of it. Your entire body seems to be green. And there are bits of plant stuck in your hair. You do feel surprisingly well-rested, though, so that's a plus. You stand up, brush yourself off, and put your clothes back on. At least all your stuff is still there. ... and then some? You find a small glass of honey you don't remember buying, as well as a completely blank white smartcard. How weird.(set:$exemption_badge to 1)(set:$green_thumb to 1) You can worry about this later. For now, you should catch a tram to [[Central Square]] so you won't be late for your meeting.

You slide off the workbench, stretch and sigh. Beanie presses a hot beverage into your hands on the way up, then returns to their work. You make your way up the narrow staircase. The second floor is a lot less spacious than the workspace downstairs, but it's also less cluttered. There's a ficus plant and a motivational poster.(click-append:"a motivational poster.")[ (There are, probably, layers of irony to the use of the Jukt Micronics logo.)] Apart from that, it's pretty tidy. Poking your head into the adjacent rooms, you discover that [[Bubbles]] is hanging out in the communal room - all pillows and a small entertainment system - while [[Rivets]] is standing on the balcony, staring at the buildings in the distance.

You wave Beanie off and make a few unmotivated noises. "Oh. Yeah, fair enough. I've been there. I'll... leave you to it." You're noticing a few new details from your vantage point. Apparently, you dislodged the **ᴅᴇꜱᴛᴙᴏY ᴄᴀᴩɪᴛᴀʟɪꜱᴍ** banner on your way in.(click-append:"on your way in. ")[Oh, they probably put it up to cover the emergency tunnel.] Also, someone spraypainted SHARK SEMPER TYRANNIS on the wall directly above you.(click-append:"directly above you.")[ There's a little sticky note explaining that it really should be "selachimorpha" but that also nobody cares about Latin that much. Harsh.] Someone put up a weird wire-and-neon-tubes installation for the holidays.(click-append:"the holidays.")[ You know. The *holidays.* The installation is shaped exactly like the iconic holiday object or plant or animal, but made out of industrial material. Art.] You stare at the ceiling for a while, only now realising how exhausted you actually are. You don't feel like moving right now. (set: $transCounter to 0)\ |sample1)[Some time later, you notice that Beanie is standing next to you again. They are holding a box with some stuff in it - a magazine, a blanket, several pillows - as well as a mug with a warm drink. "Hey, so: We usually have supplies for guests. I guess we're kinda running low, but I found you some stuff. The sleeping couch is already spoken for, but you can [[hang out]] down here if you want."] { (live: 1s)[ (set: $transCounter to $transCounter + 1) (if: $transCounter is 5)[ (show: ?sample1) (stop:) ] ] }

The magazine turns out to be a three-year-old issue of Circuit Board Photography, but you appreciate the gesture. The blanket is nice, and so is the beverage. You can even endure the small talk.(click-append:"small talk.")[ Well, not in the traditional sense. Neither of you follows the local sports teams, and the weather here is so boring that you haven't been paying attention to it at all. You also don't want to get too personal. So you mostly end up talking about, you know, personal side-projects. "Hey, sooooo..." Beanie gives you a sly little side-glance. "If you've recovered a little... do you want to help me [[test something]]? Just a little side project about protecting your privacy. Well, it's not that little. Actually it's pretty intense, that's why Rivets and Bubbles haven't volunteered yet. But you might like it.(if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[ I mean, with the AR gear you're already halfway there.] If not, I'm totally cool with [[just having a chat]] too." (if:$exemption_badge > 0)[... though, actually... you still have that inexplicable smartcard. Maybe one of the sharks knows [[what's up with that]].] ]

Their ears perk up. "Ohhhh." Someone is suddenly very excited. "We doooo have a spare helmet somewhere. No taksies-backsies! Hang tight, I'll be back in a second! " A what?(click-append:"A what?")[ The shark has already started digging around on the workbench. "It's part of a meatspace privacy suite! You know how facial recognition actually became good in the '10s? And how it's both omnipresent and impossible to evade now? If anything's visible, they can identify you. Hence, a helmet. The prototypes are linked to my phone, so I can keep track which one's you. You know, in case I feel like remembering." A wink. The shark places |pck>[a small package on your lap.](click-append:?pck)[ It's a beaten-up cardboard box, wrapped in tape. Someone, probably Bubbles, has drawn a cartoon shark on it. The shark is wearing a hat, and the words "Important science stuff, don't touch!" are written in a speech bubble. Inside, you find a matte black helmet, just like Anon's. Beanie turns it around, holding it so you can get a good look at it. You can kind of make out some electronics and a breathing apparatus, though the outside is blank and smooth. "How do you like your new face? Cute, hm?" They are definitely grinning now. Sharks are good at that. "Make sure you know what you're getting into, though." Beanie holds up a warning index finger. "I'm serious: I'm not letting you off easily once you stick your face in there. You can always chicken out, I won't blame you. I can always blackmail you later." Ready?(click-replace:"Ready?")[Ready. While you're mulling it over, two straps shoot out of the mask. They *click* shut behind your head, and the mask pushes itself onto your face. "Oh, sorry!" Their voice is muffled, but Beanie doesn't sound sorry at all. "It, ahhh... it gets a little eager sometimes. The safeword is 'potato,' just subvocalise that and it'll shut down." Reflexively, you pull on the helmet, but it refuses to budge. It's smooth and pretty heavy. There are two small slits so you can breathe, but there don't seem to be any eye-holes. You can't see and you can barely hear. There's just barely enough room for your mouth to open, but you're not sure if you could talk coherently. Actually, there's quite a bit of room in general; it doesn't fit quite right. This is actually more [[inconvenient]] than sexy.]]]

Beanie nods, and doesn't press the issue. You spend a quiet evening just chatting about various topics. Videogames, mostly.(if:$jacket > 0)[ Your favourite kinds of cybercrime.](if:$gloves_and_visor >0)[ Augmented Reality tech.](if:$redhead>0)[ Your favourite kinds of neon hair dye.] That sort of thing. You also learn a few things about the state of civil rights and digital self-governance in Avalon. (Short version: Not great.) The curfew is apparently pretty new. According to the board of investors, it's just meant as a revenue-gathering scheme - making sure that premium citizens can purchase a premium experience - but nobody really believes that. "If they're cranking repressive measures up this much," Beanie muses, "that's *probably* a good sign. Shows they're worried about something, yeah? Goes to show you that nobody believes the omnipresent surveillance is actually working. If the liberty-versus-security exchange rate keeps plummeting, people might finally get fed up. Or it might be like the '10s. We'll see, I guess." (set:$nerd to $nerd+1)(set:$horny to $horny-0.5)Your **Podcast** has increased to $nerd! Your **Horny on Main** has decreased to $horny! Eventually, you decide to call it a night. Beanie leaves you with a few blankets and pillows, which you use to build a somewhat comfortable nest. You wake up bright and early the next morning, so you have time to [[take care of some unfinished business|Central Square]] before your performance review is due. (set:$good_night to 0)(set:$has_beanie to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)

There is a hiss in your ears and the mask suddenly presses itself against your face, cool and heavy, instantly sealing your mouth shut. You flinch. Again, you reflexively try to grab the helmet and pull it off, but your arms refuse to move. It takes a second to realise you can still breathe. "... might be a little - ah! There we go." Beanie's voice is incredibly clear. You turn your head in their direction, but you can't manage more than a very slight movement. "You twitched a little there, but your numbers are looking good now. Don't worry, I'm keeping a close eye on you." You try to nod, but your head barely moves. "Speaking of closeness, though! Even without a face, you're constantly leaking identifying information. Body type, height, build, stepping patterns, reaction times... all of that is *kind of* unique. Hell, gait recognition has been around since the '10s. We'll need to scramble those too." The footsteps stop, and you feel gloved hands slide under your clothes. Wait, what? Are we stripping?(click-append:"Are we stripping?")[ You hear Beanie's phone chime, a 'new message' sound. "Hey, I can't read those right now, but I'll get to it once you're suited up." You feel yourself stand up from the couch and turn to face... well, you still can't see, but you're probably facing Beanie. Your shirt (if present) is pulled off and you kick off your shoes, then someone bends you over and helps you step out of your pants. ... you remain bent over for a while. You're pretty sure you're sticking out your ass. This probably wasn't strictly neccessary. Just as you are getting antsy, you feel yourself stand back up. You lift your leg and step forward. Your foot slides into some kind of cold, smooth fabric.(click-append:"cold, smooth fabric.")[ Ooh, that feels great. Your other leg follows suit, then your arms, your crotch, your torso... soon, you are entirely covered. The suit closes snugly around your neck, just above the base of your helmet. You assume a T-pose and hear the sound of a closing zipper behind your back. Somehow, even your fin and your shark-tail are covered. "You can't see it, but the suits are also completely black," Beanie explains. You're still blind, but this only heightens the sensation of the suit against your bare skin. You can *feel* the material merge over the zipper, and a shiver runs along your spine. "The smartsuits are full of electronics that mess with your... well, everything, really. Movement patterns, mostly. Not too much, but enough to completely poison the fingerprinting data. Now! Vision to... let's say two. That's out of five, |fut>[for future reference."](click-append:?fut)[ The workshop fades back in, though things remain very dark. Beanie fills most of your field of vision. "Okay, upper body movement to four, legs still at zero. Now..." You are pretty sure this is the first time you've seen a shark *wag.* "Wanna take this for [[a test drive]]?" ]]]

(set:$good_night to 0)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$anonysuit to 1)It still feels weird, but you feel like you're getting *kind of* a handle on how you have to move to not fall down. Judging by how much Beanie is hopping about and wagging, they must be getting a lot of great data. Together, you quickly while the night away. Before you know it, it's morning.(click-append:"it's morning.")[ "Oh! Before you go, though. Movement to zero." Your body freezes in mid-step. You hear Beanie rustle around again, then they approach you with a piece of crayon. The small shark taps one of your antennas, briefly causing your vision to fill with static and error messages. You can feel them press something against the outside of your helmet, near where your mouth would be. When your vision returns, you see Beanie purse their lips, then nod and holds up their phone. You look at the front camera, and your picture grins back at you.(click-append:"grins back at you.")[ Beanie appears to have drawn a smile on your face. A big one, too - it goes from cheek to cheek. "Yeah, I thought this might be a little friendlier, you know?" You think the cartoonish grin looks silly, but you are in no position to argue. "Yeah, much better. Thanks for letting me do this! I'll talk to the Captain, so you're staying that way for a loooong time.~" Beanie pulls your head down and touches their nose against yours, still wagging. "Alrighty! Movement to five, hearing to five, vision to five, voice to... mmhm, let's say three. You can be a little shy, it's cuter that way. Out with you now, see you in the afternoon! I'll check in with your camera feed now and then, so don't do anything *too* naughty." Beanie gives you one last smack on the rear, and your legs carry you outside.(click-append:"carry you outside.")[ You take a deep breath. This is going to be quite a ride, but you honestly feel... pretty good, you think. Dawn is breaking, and the sunlight feels incredibly weird on your helmet, but... pleasantly so. You think. You're excited. (set:$horny to $horny+0.5)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! Back to [[Central Square]] with you for now. Your performance review appointment is scheduled for later today - you have work to do! If you want to keep this suit, you should impress them.]]]

You join Bubbles in the community room. As you noticed before, she has a very... distinctive way of dressing. Which is to say she's currently wearing lingerie and nothing else. "Well," she explains, "this is *basically* like a sleepover party and this is how they work!" Clearly you've been to the wrong kinds of sleepovers.(click-append:"sleepovers.")[ Anyway, the room is nice and comfortable and slightly dark, and the rest is doing wonders for you. This is a lot better than running around the streets. Bubbles is not the most sparkling conversationalist, but she shows genuine interest in your day.(if:$has_music > 0)[ The shark does interrupt you when you describe your visit to the library. "Ooh, wait, you have music?" She visibly perks up. "Rivets took mine away after I, like, listened to the same track five hundred times in a row. And like uhm videogame music doesn't even *have* lyrics so yes I *do* have to make them up *obviously.* Like, duh." She dramatically rolls her eyes. "Anyway! Do you wanna learn to dance? 'cause I can totally, like, [[show you.]]" If you're not up for that, well, she won't mind.] You could just [[keep hanging out]] in the communal room if you want. (if:$exemption_badge > 0)[... though, actually... you still have that inexplicable smartcard. Maybe one of the sharks knows [[what's up with that]].]]

What *is* that guy's deal anyway? You endeavour to find out.(set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)(set:$nerd to $nerd+0.5)(set:$good_night to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1) You find Rivets on the... well, it's not much of a balcony, per se. More of a jut. (Protuberance? Ledge? One of those.) It's large enough for two lawn chairs, though. You hesistate near the door, but Rivets waves you over. You appear to be welcome. So what's the story behind the arm? Military service or something?(click-append:"or something?")[ Rivets retrieves two bottles from a cooler he apparently set up and offers one to you. Water, it turns out. He seems mildly amused, and shakes his head. "Yeah no I got that one in college. I don't talk about it to seem a bit more mysterious." Fair enough. So, what does he do around here?(click-append:"around here?")[ "I'm pretty much just along for the ride." He doesn't look directly at you. "I'm not super great with the tech stuff or the... you know, *direct action*... but it feels good to belong to something, you know? I help out where I can." He waves his non-mechanical arm towards the lights of the city. "I do Let's Plays, mostly. You can learn a lot about a culture by examining its entertainment, you know? Not the horribly earnest stuff they write on statues, just the... you know... things people voluntarily consume in their free time. And Avalon produces *some shit,* believe me." This turns out to be a rather interesting conversation. What does a non-imperial 4X game look like, anyway? And why are RPGs so fond of their Chosen One narratives? That sort of thing.(if:$muscle > 0)[ You also exchange workout tips. You kind of cheated a little, of course, but he'll help you keep those sick gainz.](if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[ He compliments your choice of AR gear. Oh. Right. Yeah, you're still wearing that. Well... it's good to hear it looks good on you.] Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! Your **Podcast** has increased to $nerd! You talk long into the night.(click-append:"into the night.")[ Eventually, he lets you have his spot on the sleeping couch - apparently he's in charge of the Shark Crime Podcast and the most recent episode still needs to be edited before it's ready for publishing. You know, these pillows don't look like much, but they're pretty comfy. You actually wake up earlier than planned. Back to [[Central Square]] with you for now - you have time for one final hustle before your performance review is due! (if:$exemption_badge > 0)[... though, actually... you still have that inexplicable smartcard. Maybe one of the sharks knows [[what's up with that]].] ]]]

(set:$good_night to 0)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$horny to $horny+1.5)(set:$collar to 1)You pop one of the CDs into the entertainment system and get ready to rock out to CC0-licensed electro-pop. Get ready to party like it's 2003! Bubbles mostly looks confused when you show your dance moves.(click-append:"show your dance moves.")[ "Huh? Oh, nono, that's not how it's done! Silly. Come, over here!" She grabs you by the wrist and drags you over to a different corner of the room. You notice that there's a stripper pole set up there, and that a webcam is pointing at it. "You need one of these to dance properly, silly. And you're not, like, |gear>[using the right gear and stuff!]"(click-append:?gear)[ The right gear turns out to be a collar, which is chained to the pole. And the right way to dance turns out to, specifically, be pole dancing. Well, maybe not "dancing" so much as "squirming before the camera while Bubbles grinds against you." And occasionally reprimands you for poor form, like when you don't wiggle your butt enough. You guess that's just how the cool kids do it nowadays.(click-append:"nowadays.")[ Eventually, Bubbles judges your performance as appropriate. (She shows her appreciation by shoving a five dollar bill into your underwear, since that's "how it's done.") You are allowed to get some sleep. Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! Also, you got some great exercise. You spend the rest of the night napping in the community room. You know, these pillows don't look like much, but they're pretty comfy. You actually wake up earlier than planned. Back to [[Central Square]] with you for now - you have time for one more hustle before your performance review is due!]]]

(set:$good_night to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$horny to $horny+0.5)You're frankly pretty tired, and the cushions are super comfortable. Besides, you still have a cup of probably-tea to finish. Hanging out and chatting sounds wonderful. Bubbles is pretty fun to hang out with. You talk about boys, magazines, music, girls, movies, cuties who are not categorised as boys and/or girls, your favourite faux motivational posters... that sort of thing.(if:$goth_makeover > 0)[ You exchange some makeup tips. She asks where you got yours done; you promise her to show her the place soon.](if:$chub>0)[ She notes that you seem to have found a lead on a great source of candy. You spend some time plotting raids on the city's remaining snack bars.](if:$redhead>0)[ The two of you wonder if the Captain's hair is red because she, too, is rallying the workers of the world. It seems likely, right?] It's honestly hard to not be affected by her sunny disposition. Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! Eventually, she excuses herself for the night. You decide to take a nap right there in the community room. You know, these pillows don't look like much, but they're pretty comfy. You actually wake up earlier than planned. Back to [[Central Square]] with you for now - you have time for one more hustle before your performance review is due!

Hey, thanks for playing this game! It's really appreciated. This was a rather large project, so I'm happy if someone is actually taking a look. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this game. What did you like, what didn't you like? Did you encounter any glitches that should probably be fixed? Just post your feedback where-ever you found this game, or send it to **KHRDN** on FurAffinity. This version hasn't really been checked for balance, so if you notice that you can't seem to get a certain stat high enough or low enough... yeah sorry and probably get in touch. If you want another go, we can [[restart|Start]] or go straight to [[the good part]] this time.

You walk over to the group and sit down on an unoccupied chair. You then grab a handful of nachos and an unopened bottle off the table, to assert dominance. What's the deal with airlines these days, you ask nobody in particular. You can't *believe* you almost missed the pre-game! So sorry, guys, hope you didn't start without me. You pick out the most awkward-looking one, make eye contact, and grin your sharpest grin. As expected, they blush and shrink into their seat a little. Excellent.(click-append:"Excellent.")[ The initial shock is wearing off, but your behaviour is so brazen that they've concluded you're supposed to be here. Excellent. You ask your victim how their trip was - uneventful, apparently - and eat a few more nachos while the conversation slowly resumes. Mmhm, cheese dip. Seems these people are, in fact, in town for a business convention of some kind. Something about the pharmaceutical industry? You don't know most of these words, but they sound Latin... ish. One of them flags down a waiter and asks for the bill. The rest of them start to gather their belongings. One gives you a questioning look. Well, you're deep into curfew time now; you don't want to run into police on your own. You should [[tag along]] and see where this takes you. ]

You walk along, almost but not quite in front of the group. You have no idea where you're going. Exciting! You pretend that you need to catch up on some reading, so you can lag behind a little and try to figure out where you're going.(click-append:"try to figure out where you're going.")[ Well... you're going towards Uptown, apparently. This is a particularly dense and urban part of Avalon, as real estate is expensive this far inland. Most buildings are only as big as they need to be. It's all shoebox apartments and *tiny* cafés. You seem to be heading for one of the notably rare exceptions, though. Up ahead is the Redreach Conference Centre, a massive glass-and-steel tower in the fancy-but-just-barely-affordable part of town. Your group climbs on the escalators - you seem to be heading for the second floor.(click-append:"the second floor.")[ That's pretty exciting. You didn't think you'd actually get to visit the RCC, since it's normally... off-limits... to the... ... right. There's Avalon Security people here as well. They're checking IDs near the entrance, soooo... there's a small problem with your plan to dodge the curfew. The businessmice all start patting their suit jackets and brandishing smartcards. You should probably think of something.(click-append:"think of something.")[ You stay in the line for now, deciding to [[keep a low profile.]]]]]

The lizard woman shoves you through the staff entrance. You are shown to a booth and given you a small canvas bag, which apparently contains "everything you'll need so now hurry up you're on in five minutes gogogogogo*gogogogo!!*" Conveniently, the bag comes with a pamphlet that explains what this is about. Apparently, you are going to be part of the sales staff!(click-append:"sales staff!")[ You know, you're a promotional model. A booth professional? Any of that ring a bell? ... well, if it doesn't, the contents of the canvas bag might be a bit of a hint. You dump it out and retrieve a little white hat, a little white dress, and a set of not-so-little white gloves and stockings. It appears that you're going to spend the rest of the evening in a sexy nurse costume, standing near some advertisements.(click-append:"advertisements.")[ The lizard woman grabs you as soon as you finish dressing and physically shoves you into one of the booths, then runs off to deal with some other emergency. You sigh and settle in for a long night. You're selling "Liquid Karma," apparently? It's some kind of... food supplement, you think, but it's really just baffling. Nobody asks you about the details of the product, thankfully. You just have to seductively pout at businesspeople, and the pharma reps do the rest. The outfit is embarassing, and a little cold, but your face is sharp enough that nobody gives you any sass.(click-append:"any sass.")[ The night isn't a *complete* loss, though. You don't have to take off the nurse outfit when your shift ends, and you get to take an unclaimed swag bag as a little bonus. After sorting through the marketing material, you are left with a few pens, an oversized prop syringe and a COMPLEMENTARY SILVER-TIER UPTOWN DAY PASS. Score! The curfew is probably still in place, but nobody's bothering you. You sit down on one of the benches in [[Central Square]] and rest your eyes for a bit, waking up just as dawn breaks. Might as well get an early start. (set:$exemption_badge to 1)(set:$horny to $horny+0.5)(set:$good_night to 0)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$hello_nurse to 1)]]]

Dumpster diving expeditions aren't glorious, sure, but you can sometimes find cool/incriminating stuff in there. You've gotten some of your best material that way - your readers **loved** "The Ten Funniest Admin Passwords Currently In Use At CyberDynamics Systems Corporation." You head behind the building, to the dumpsters, and have yourself a good rummage.(click-append:"rummage.")[ No corporate secrets, unfortunately, but you do find a cardboard box marked 'CAFETERIA.' According to the label, it won't expire until tomorrow. Score! You find a nice and comfortable spot on the curb and examine your loot.(click-append:"your loot.")[ Lemonade, you think. Well... the European kind. Not actual lemonade, just... fizzy sugar water, really. Judging by all the nonstandard spellings, the actual fruit content can't all that high. You consider your options: * Grab a [[blue can]] and choke down some "Blooberry Sportsquench." The can shows a well-endowed wolfman, flexing suggestively at the viewer. You can't read the slogan because the font is too fancy, but under that, it says that the drink cures all diseases and makes your dick bigger. (There are no truth-in-advertising laws in Avalon.) * Grab a [[pink can]] and try the "Pinkfruit RazzleBlast." This one has a vixen on it instead, and she's... let's just say she probably has a strong back. She's... top-heavy. It's boobs. I'm talking about boobs. She has big ones. * Grab [[both cans]], one per hand, and shotgun them. Both. At the same time. You will face god and walk backwards into hell. ]]

You are, frankly, somewhat apprehensive about this. Sports drinks are often blue, and they have a very distinctive *electrified chalk* flavour. You take a cautious sip from the can, and scrunch up your face. Yep. It's a sports drink.(click-append:"sports drink.")[ Except it's also salty somehow? Blahhh. You take another sip to confirm your initial impression, then toss the can away. You can see why they threw this one out. Why would anyone... ... ... your underwear wasn't this tight before, was it?(click-append:"was it?")[ A quick check down below reveals that the marketing slogan wasn't entirely wrong. You are... well... you are happy to see your friends. Let's just leave it at that. (Actually, did you even have anything down there? Well, if you didn't, then you do now.) (set:$horny to $horny+1)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! (set:$nerd to $nerd-0.5)Your **Podcast** has decreased to $nerd! You should head back to [[Central Square]] and find a public fountain, so you can wash the chemical aftertaste out of your mouth. Blahhh. (set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$male_drink to 1) ]]

You take a cautious sip from the can. As expected, the liquid inside is so sweet that it makes your entire body convulse. Yep. Thaaaat's artificial strawberry.(click-append:"artificial strawberry.")[ Well... artifical strawberries dissolved in artificial milk, maybe? Is artificial milk a thing? If it is, that's what you're drinking. You take a second sip. It's... not that bad, you think? Taste-wise, at least. This can't be healthy, though. It's probably going straight to your... ... ... your chest, apparently? You were going to look down at your hips, maybe give them a little pat, but suddenly there's a huge pair of tits in the way. These are... bigger than you remember. Maybe that's where the milk taste comes in? Does *everything* on this island have nanites in it? You sigh and toss the can away. Well, you can deal with this. (set:$horny to $horny+1)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! (set:$nerd to $nerd-0.5)Your **Podcast** has decreased to $nerd! You should head back to [[Central Square]] and find a public fountain, so you can wash the chemical aftertaste out of your mouth. Blahhh. (Actually, did you even have tits before? Well, you certainly do now.) (set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$boobs to $boobs+1)(set:$female_drink to 1) ]

You've thought this through. Sports drinks are always salty and bitter, right? And "pinkberry" isn't real, but if it *was,* it would be one of those artificial strawberry things, right? So if you shotgun both of them at once, it'll average out to water. And really, how unhealthy can these even be? You grab both cans, pull the tabs, and pour them back. You taste a mixture of strawberries and apples for a moment, then notice a strong metallic taste. Then your vision goes purple, your chest starts to pound, and you black out. This might have been a bad idea.(click-append:"This might have been a bad idea.")[ You have a weird dream about... floating through space... and garbage collection... and cosmic bees, somehow? She keeps buzzing at you like she wants something. Chill out, bee. After the energy drinks wear off, you wake up in a crumpled heap. There is... a significant weight in your chest region, you notice. You were going to look down at your hips, maybe give them a little pat, but suddenly there's a huge pair of tits in the way. These are... bigger than you remember. Does *everything* on this island have nanites in it? ... your underwear wasn't this tight before, was it? A quick check down below reveals that the marketing slogan wasn't entirely wrong. You are... well... you are happy to see your friends. Let's just leave it at that. (Actually, did you even have anything down there? Or on your chest? Well, if you didn't, then you do now.) (set:$mayhem to $mayhem+0.5)Your **Mayhem** has increased to $mayhem! (set:$horny to $horny+1)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! (set:$nerd to $nerd-1)Your **Podcast** has decreased to $nerd! You should head back to [[Central Square]] and find a public fountain, so you can wash the chemical aftertaste out of your mouth. Blahhh. (set:$hour to $hour+1) (set:$male_drink to 1)(set:$female_drink to 1)(set:$boobs to $boobs+1) ]

Well. Downtown is one hell of a disappointment. You guess there's a weird graffiti? You could probably spend a few minutes staring at it.(click-append:"staring at it.")[ Grafitti is a common sight around the city, but this is a rather unusual specimen. It's easily readable, for starters - monospaced even - and it consists of random characters, arranged in a grid. Like this: (font:"Courier New")[ **U3BlYW** **ssIGZy** **aWVuZC** **wgYW5k** **IGVudG** **VyLg==**] You roll your eyes. (if:$nerd>=7)[You can't believe people are still using that ancient puzzle. Might as well [[solve]] it while you're here.](if:$nerd<7)[Some stupid nerd thing, no doubt.] ] If you don't like puzzles, you could always go for a walk. What's the worst that can happen, right? You'd have to be extremely unlucky to actually [[run into a patrol]].

You step up to the grafitti, clear your throat, and say "Friend." *Obviously.* How is that even a puzzle? Someone taps you on the shoulder.(click-append:"taps you on the shoulder.")[ You turn around. Another shark! Not one of the ones you know, though. She's wearing a fedora, a suit jacket, a professional pair of jeans, a tie and - notably - no shirt of any kind. You're not sure how you missed her before. "Hey nice! About time you showed up. I was starting to think we made this one a bit too hard." Really? It seemed straightforward.(click-append:"straightforward.")[ "Pfft." You see a tongue stud for a moment. "Alright, well done, professor. You followed the trail of breadcrumbs, you've solved all of our devious puzzles, yada yada, now let me stamp your hand so you can go in and nerd dance with the other nerds." Stamp your what?(click-replace:"what?")[ - "Hand. There we go." You are left with a scintillating rainbow stamp on the back of your hand. The shark nods. "Alright, you're good to... waaait, I don't see any other stamps here." She seems to realise something, and then she's suddenly grinning. It's a *very* sharp grin. "Ooh, is this your first time? This *is* your first time, isn't it? That means you gotta pick something! And I saw you first! Ohh, this is gonna be great." She grabs you by the wrist and drags you through a door marked [[EMPLOYEES ONLY]]. ]]]

You've always wondered what was behind those doors. A concrete staircase, in this kind, which leads into a series of tunnels. Your new friend - you're calling her Jacket for now - drags you through a side door, which connects to... the lobby of a swanky night club of some kind? Wouldn't have been your first guess, to be honest.(click-append:"to be honest.")[ But you're not sure what else to make of it. There's neon tubes for lighting, you can see a sign that says CLOAKROOM to your left, and muffled electronic music is coming from your right. "Yo! Service!" Jacket yells into the darkness. "It's an emergency! We've got a noob in *super dorky* clothes!" Her tie, you notice, has a glow-in-the-dark biohazard symbol on it. Very stylish. Service, it turns out, comes in the form of a snow leopard with long black hair and an old-fashioned bellhop uniform.(click-append:"bellhop uniform.")[ "Yeah, yeah. You always get lucky with the newbies." The cat waves you over to the back and opens a closet full of rave supplies. "Welcome to the Secret Underground Puzzle Rave Club. Yada yada, don't talk about rave club, yada yada, subscribed to our mailing list, yada yada, it's your first night so you have to dance. Pick something from the closet and we'll show you to the dance floor." You should take your time with this, since your choice is going to set the tone for this whole party. After plenty of consideration, you decide that you are going to pick|choice>[ ... a pair of |a>[rave pants]. ... a set of fluffy |a>[arm wraps]. ... a |a>[big ol' glowstick].] (click:?a)[(replace:?choice)[- "A GASMASK!" Jacket yells from somewhere behind your head, just as you open your mouth. You turn around, and she shoves a chunk of rubber on your face. Wait, what?(click-replace:"Wait, what?")[Mmfh, nngh?! You swear you can hear giggling, but everything is sort of muffled right now. There is a hiss, and the mask suddenly gets very tight around your face. Your vision blurs, then clears - though slightly distorted by the lenses now in front of your eyes. The snow leopard is shaking their head, smirking, and Jacket is trying very hard not to fall down laughing. You huff and pull on the mask. Obviously, it doesn't move. "She does this to everyone who completes her route," the cat explains, slinging an arm around your shoulders and poking your snout. "Not *everyone!*" Just everyone *cute* and *dorky* enough." The snow leopard leads you out of the room, and Jacket follows slightly behind. "Yeah, so, anyway: It'll come off when it comes off. Until then, just... [[enjoy the party]], I suppose?"]]]]]

You didn't think you liked the music at first, but you're kind of getting into it. There's something to... the rhythm...(click-append:"the rhythm...")[ You find it extremely easy to fall in sync with the music. You dance the night away, grinding against attractive strangers and enjoying the athmosphere of the improvised night club. (You manage to stay hydrated thanks to an ingenious straw-based system.) (set:$horny to $horny+0.5)Your **Horny on Main** has increased to $horny! Down here, it's impossible to tell how much time has passed. It feels like hours - days, maybe - but eventually, the music starts to fade out and the lights slowly start to come back on. The Avalon Power Authority has finally noticed the additional draw of electricity, the PA informs you. AvaSec will be over shortly. You should leave, to avoid trouble.(click-append:"avoid trouble.")[ You stagger back into [[Central Square]]. You are sweat-drenched, your legs feel like lead, the rubber smell is intense, and you are *incredibly* high on endorphins. You'll have to do this more often. At this point you're pretty certain that the gas mask isn't coming off, but... you know what? That's probably fine. There's an upside to all of this. You don't really need a rebreather for diving,since you have gills and all, but it could still be useful in case you're... stuck in an elevator with a smelly person? Yeah. That seems good. Plus, you got a little tote bag! You won't be able to eat the candy for the time being, but there's a COUNTERFEIT UPTOWN DAY PASS in there, and Suit Jacket appears to have written her contact information on the back. Aww. (Really, it has the word "COUNTERFEIT" printed on it.) ]] (set:$gasmask to 1)(set:$hour to $hour+1)(set:$exemption_badge to 1)(set:$good_night to -1)

(if:$oink > 0)[You really want an explanation for what happened at the Gate earlier. ]These are the only natives you actually know, and you really want to know what this is all about.(if:$oink > 0)[ You may be new to Avalon, but you don't think that police stations are *supposed* to vanish into thin air. Things would be a lot easier if they did.] You gather all the smartest sharks in Avalon and also Bubbles into the break room, and present them with the mystery smartcard.(click-append:"present them with the mystery smartcard.")[ Beanie leans forward and peers at it, deeply skeptical. "Well... I know what that is," they mutter. "But... where'd you get that thing?" You aren't sure, actually?(click-append:"You aren't sure, actually?")[ It just kind of showed up in your inventory. "This had better not be a time loop situation," Rivets says, nudging the little piece of plastic with a metal finger. "I've sworn to never travel through time, *unless* it's the kind of time travel where I can somehow make out with myself. Oh, I also have a contactless card reader in my finger. |aaa>[hence the nudging." ](click-append:?aaa)["So, what is it?" Bubbles asks, leaning forward and making sure you can see as much cleavage as possible. "Is it an uhhhmmmm liiiiike computer thing?" Rivets nods to confirm. Beanie has, in the meantime, retrieved a laptop from somewhere. "It is exactly that. More specifically: This is an Uptown access card... that *hasn't been invalidated.*" That is, presumably, a big deal.(click-append:"a big deal.")[ Turns out: It is actually the biggest possible deal. These things are only valid for a very short amount of time after they've been activated, so you can shirk the curfew once, but only the one that's already underway. With an unlocked one, though... the Crime Squad can plan an incursion. A curfew breach. Maybe a journey into Uptown. (if:$oink > 0)[This really isn't supposed to happen; Avalon Security doesn't know how to deal with this kind of situation *at all,* which is why the guards bailed on you, you guess.] The Captain is duly informed. She ruffle your hair, pulls on your ear, slaps your ass, and repeatedly calls you a "nerd," but it's clearly affectionate. Hopeful. You're really going to heck some things up in Avalon. **You found [[the SECRET GOLDEN ENDING.]] Well done!** ]]]]

"Well," the Captain says, a surprisingly short amount of time later, as you're sitting near the open-air rave pit that used to be an Avalon Prime Shipping Satisfaction Center. "This worked out just fine. I still owe you a performance review, though." She gives your ass an appreciative slap. "I can see that your tail has grown in *nicely.* Let's see how the crimes went, huh? I know about the big one, obviously, but how did you use your spare time?" She grabs your wrist-computer and starts to press a few buttons. (if:$mayhem > 8.5)["Hey, this is pretty cool." The Captain scrolls through the log, nodding in appreciation. "Hey, you got the - niiice. This is some good content." She hands the device back to you, grinning. You catch yourself returning the grin in exactly the same way. "I've always wanted a deputy. You'll do just fine, once we find you a camouflage jacket. Then we need to get someone to tell me to 'go fuck myself,' so we can do some prop comedy. C'mon, I need you to give me a hand. And you can help me organise something to." ](else-if:$podcast > 7)[The Captain starts to scroll through the log, then stops, squints, and shakes her head. "Haha, oh god. Looks like we've got another one of... those." She hands the device back to you, and waves Beanie over. "Okay, you'll have to ask for a spare beanie or something, and then you two nerds can chat about... I don't know, porting Doom to the TI-84? Whatever it is you guys do. Once you're done with that, I have a task for you." ](else-if:$horny > 7)[The Captain starts to scroll through the log, then stops and just kind of... stares. "Did... did you think we were making amateur porn? This looks like amateur porn to me." She tilts her head to the side. "Mmhm... not that I'm complaining. You'll have to show me that trick later." She hands the device back to you, and tugs Bubbles over. "Okay, you two run along and play now. Swap makeup tips or something, we need you to be presentable." ](else-if:1>0)["Hmm... not to shabby." The Captain swipes through a few log entries, occasionally nodding her approval. "Mmhm. Oh, hey. Yeah, I think this earns you a Meets Expectations, at the very least." She hands you the wrist computer back, patting you on the shoulder. "I'll be honest: I've been trying real hard to come up with a pun along the lines of 'a fishy story' - 'cause you're a writer and all - but yeah, I got nothing. Welcome to the crew.] Sounds like you're in! This should be exciting. The Captain gives you a welcome noogie, and you have officially joined a *dangerous street gang.* Not what you planned to do with your vacation, but it'll do. **Your final score:** Your **Mayhem** is $mayhem. (if:$mayhem<=4.5)[You're honestly not much of a crime-doer. Maybe the gang has a spot for you to be their mascot, but that's all you can expect.](else-if:$mayhem<8.5)[You can hold your own when it comes to crime, but you're no ringleader. That's probably for the best.](if:$mayhem>=8.5)[You're a one-person state-smashing machine. You're all shark - you have to keep moving, and you have to keep upending the social order. It's what you do. You rock.] Your **Horny on Main** is $horny. (if:$horny<=3.5)[That's barely horny at all, so your gang name will have to be "SFW Shark." Actually, can you pick your own gang name? You should ask the Captain when you get the chance.](else-if:$horny<7)[You're not exactly lewd. You are at least theoretically capable of wearing sensible clothing, and you can eat bananas without making people blush. That's probably a good thing.](if:$horny>=7)[You are, somehow, inherently NSFW. You can go from zero to flirting on a moment's notice, and you know a naughty party trick for every kind of fruit, from the banana to the pineapple. Security cameras are flustered because they can't figure out whether they need to blur you or not.] Your **Podcast** is $nerd. (if:$nerd<=3.5)[You're not much of a thinker. That's cool, though. You have your own strengths. Other people can handle the nerd stuff, like "planning" or "telling you what to do."](else-if:$nerd<7)[You're doing pretty alright with the, you know, thinky stuff. The uhm. The braining. ... okay, you're not showing it right now, but trust me.](if:$nerd>=7)[You're pretty dang smart. You have an opinion on which text editor is the best one, and you're willing to talk about it *in public.*] Your time in Avalon changed you a little. Specifically: You're a shark now. You have a pointed muzzle, your teeth are absurdly sharp, and you have a massive tail that keeps knocking into things. (if:$mayhem > 9)[You look a lot like the Captain, actually. You have that iconic pointed snout, the large fins, the strong crescent-shaped tail. Your chest and belly are white, (if:$green_thumb < 1)[and you have a contrasting pattern of dark blue, gray, or brown on your back and sides. (It depends on the lighting conditions.)](if:$green_thumb > 0)[while the rest of your body is bright green.] You seem to have acquired her haircut at some point, and your hair seems to be red too.(if:$go_green > 0 or $blue_eyes > 0)[ (Highlights nonwithstanding.] ](if:$mayhem > 7.5 and $mayhem <= 9)[With your heavy build and thick skin, you both look and feel ready to rumble. You are mostly (if:$green_thumb < 1)[grey](if:$green_thumb > 0)[green] in colour, with a white chest and belly, but you have brightly-coloured stripes running down your back and your sides. You're looking a lot more menacing than the other sharks, save perhaps the Captain. ](if:$mayhem >= 5 and $mayhem <= 7.5)[You are somewhat unassuming. It's difficult to tell what kind of shark you are supposed to be, exactly, but you have the basic design features down pat. You are (if:$green_thumb < 1)[grey-brown](if:$green_thumb > 0)[grey-green] in color, with a white chest and belly, and you have a very charming smile. ](if:$mayhem <= 4.5)[You are (if:$green_thumb < 1)[grey-brown](if:$green_thumb > 0)[grey-green] in color, with a white chest and belly, and... you don't look all that scary, to be frank. You're looking pretty docile and harmless. You do have a pretty sweet tail fin - almost a quarter of your length - but apart from that, you're not too impressive.(if:$muscles > 0)[ (The muscles help a little, but not much.)] You also have a little cross-shaped marking on your cheek, like so: **+**] (if:$is_rubber > 0)[Well, first of all, you're made out of living rubber. That's... kind of hard to miss. Your body is smooth and shiny, and you make little squeaking noises whenever you move. You have some control over how solid you want the rubber to be (so dripping goo is also an option), but you can't change your basic shape into anything other than a shark. Weird. ] (if:$anonysuit > 0)[Not that there's much to look at. You are wearing a dull black lycra suit that covers your entire body, head to toe. Anonyshark. Your hair is poking out, you guess. Beanie also let you keep your clothes and various other accessories, so you're wearing those on top of the suit. ](if:$horny <= 5)[Your clothes are pretty sensible, all in all. Unremarkable, really. Pants, a shirt; that kind of thing. ](if:$horny > 5 and $horny < 7)[Your outfit is... somewhat sensible. You're not sure where those booty shorts came from. Your tanktop covers most of your chest and torso, though, so that's nice. ](if:$horny >= 7 and $horny < 10)[You're dressed for summer, which is to say that you're wearing a miniskirt and a fishnet tube top. The top covers the upper third of your chest, and the skirt goes about halfway down your thighs. ](if:$horny > 9)[Your clothes seem to be missing in action. You're wearing a bikini top and a tiny thong, and that's it. At least the people around you seem to be enjoying the show. (Though random strangers keep tugging on the thong, then letting it snap back.) ](if:$hello_nurse > 0)[Your outfit is, additionally, nurse-themed. (Sexy nurse, not hospital scrubs nurse.) Everything is white and shiny, and you're wearing a cute little hat with a red cross logo on it. The net stockings and the high heels are a little inconvenient, but that's the price you pay. You do have a big plush syringe prop, so that's good. ](if:$has_hat > 0)[You also have a pretty sweet fedora. Perhaps it's a trilby? You never learned the difference. Anyway, it has holes that let your ears poke out, and it has a band. You can tuck your press ID card in there so it's visible, in case you want to scare people. ](if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[You also put on a data visor and a pair of elbow-length data gloves at some point. You're not quite sure how they look, because the visor's AR functions are editing them out for you, but you assume they're cute. You know, in the cyborg sense. Skintight space-age gloves, anyway. ](if:$goth_makeover > 0)[You are, additionally, wearing a lot of makeup. If that counts as part of your outfit. Purple eyeshadow, shiny black lipstick, bright pink cyberlox... that sort of thing. They go well with your striped stockings and matching gloves. You also have a hairclip - a black bow with a little shark-skull on it. You're not sure if goth-punk is an aesthetic, but that seems to be what you're going for. ](if:$gasmask > 0)[A thick, irremovable gasmask is stuck on your face. It's the fancy, self-sealing kind, and you don't know the security key. There's no way to take it off right now, and there won't be one until the battery has run out. The filters have little biohazard symbols printed on them, so at least it doesn't mess up your aesthetics. The eye-holes are actually pretty generous, too.(if:$gloves_and_visor>0)[ (This leaves room for your visor, presumably.)] You can pull out the filtering apparatus to free up your mouth. It snaps back in as soon as you let go, but it'll let you eat and stuff. ](if:$jacket > 0)[Oh, and you're wearing a cool leather jacket. You can't quite remember where you found that one, but it makes you look mysterious and dangerous and badass. Or like someone who owns a bike, at least. It has a few patches on it, showing characters from old videogames. ](if:$chub > 0)[As for your body... well, you are a little chubby. It looks good on you, to be honest. You have great love handles. ](if:$male_drink >0)[There is a *sizeable* bulge in your underwear, to the point where it's actually kind of awkward to walk. It's preeetty impressive. You have to be careful when looking at horny content in public; your clothes may not be able to contain the resulting... reaction. ](if:$redhead > 0)[You notice that your hair is a *lot* more red than it used to be. You remind yourself of a stoplight. Also, a hammer-and-sickle ear ring? Really? ](if:$go_green > 0)[Your hair (if:$redhead > 0)[also ]has neon green streaks in it(if:$redhead > 0)[, in addition to the red ones]. They are *extremely* bright. Glow-in-the-dark bright. When did that happen? (if:$redhead > 0)[Who keeps picking those colours?] ](if:$green_thumb > 0)[Well, whatever caused it has spread to the rest of your body. Your main skin colour is neon green, and your hair has a rather leafy texture to it. You are constantly trailing flower petals. Plus, you're pretty sure you can do photosynthesis. At least you'll save money on food? ](if:$lisa_needs_braces > 0)[You have braces. That seems extremely silly on a shark-morph, but you have them and they're not coming off. You look like a total dork, and they make you lisp because you aren't used to them. Everything is terrible. ](if:$sunglasses_at_night > 0)[At some point, you found - and picked up - a pair of super rad sunglasses. You're preeeetty sure that you look cool and mysterious. You've already decided that you're not going to take the sunglasses off just because it's *night* or something. (if:$gloves_and_visor > 0)[Actually, the sunglasses must've kind of... merged with your visor? So now the visor is just pitch black and reflective from the outside? You're not sure how that's supposed to work, but it sounds *rad as hell.*] ](if:$blue_eyes > 0)[You have bright, vacant blue eyes and your hair has... like... blonde streaks an' junk. It's, like, super silly an' stuff? You, like, don't think it's always been like that, but you're not, like, sure? Also, you've started to, like, talk like this? And it sucks? And you could really go for some sucking right n- c'mon, focus. ](if:$beep_shirt > 0)[You are wearing a pair of wireless headphones - sometimes on your ears, sometimes around your neck. Just in case you feel like rocking out. You're not sure where they came from, but the music is pretty sweet. ](if:$butt > 0)[You have a *great* butt. Not in the sense of it being big but in the sense of it being an excellent rear. Although it is pretty large as well. You're quite proud of it. ](if:$boobs > 0)[You have a huge tits. They look good on you! They're just as firm and/or bouncy as you like them. ... maybe a bit on the large side. Hopefully this won't lead to back pain in the future. Maybe Bubbles can give you some tips. (if:$boobs > 1)[ The second dose of boobs-enhancing nanites really did a number on you. They might've been big before, but now they're *massive.* Gigantic. Gravity-defying. And quite bouncy, which is actually really annoying.] ](if:$muscle > 0)[You are quite muscular. You can literally flex on people if you want.(if:$chub<1)[ Kind of a swimmer's physique, appropriately enough, but a swimmer who lifts cars as a hobby. You've never had a sixpack this great.](if:$chub>0)[ One would expect kind of a swimmer's physique, but you're really more of a wrestler. T h i c c.] You are taller than almost everyone else, and you clearly did not skip leg day. ](if:$muzzle > 0)[You spent the night hanging upside down from the ceiling, wearing several pounds of bondage gear. You were able to get rid of most of it, but you are still wearing a Discount Enforcement-brand smartmuzzle. Which is to say, there's a padded metal ring around your snout, and people can forcibly close it via Bluetooth because it was left on the default password. (if:$gasmask > 0)[ It fits over the gasmask. Normally, there's just enough space *in* the gasmask to let you talk normally, but the smartmuzzle can squeeze it down enough to keep you from talking.] ](if:$piercings > 0)[You have a lot of piercings. Like, a *lot* of them. Several rings in your left ear, bridge piercings across the top of your snout, a cute tongue stud, nipple barbells, a nose ring, snakebites... the list goes on. When you walk past, compass needles wiggle. ](if:$corset > 0)[You are wearing a solid golden wristband. Fashionable, yes... but also enchanted. An invisible forcefield is hugging around your waist, pushing and squeezing your midsection into shape. The magical corset is tight and restrictive, so you can't move as much, but at least your posture is good. ](if:$collar > 0)[A collar has been strapped around your neck by the ever-helpful Bubbles. Nothing to fancy - just black leather with a silver buckle - but it looks good on you. ] [[The End]]

Okay, so... you're in a small bit of trouble here. You could turn around and leave - that would get you out of the ID check up ahead. But if you did that, then you'd just get stopped for a curfew violation later. Then again, the security people here look *seriously* overworked. Maybe you can sort of slip through the... |speak>["Hey! Heyyou, over there!"](click-append:?speak)[ You turn to the left, and find yourself face-to-snout with a tan lizard woman. She is wearing a headset - carefully wedged in between her head-spines - and a sweat-drenched business shirt. (You're not quite sure how that works.) Her nametag identifiers her as ASST STAFF MGR. "Where have you been? Where's your ID badge? Less than half of the presentation staff showed up! Are you with the presentation staff?" What?(click-replace:"What?")[You open your mouth to respond, but then you notice that there's a guard standing in earshot. He is holding a rifle, which is currently pointed towards the ground. So you change your mind. The woman, meanwhile, has started to wave towards the side entrance. "Tell me you're with the presentation staff! What are you doing, standing in line? Is all of the presentation staff standing in line? You're late, come on come on *comeon!!*" Seems like you have [[a job to do]].]]